They're once was a girl who avoided her pain she looked in the mirror with such disdain her heart feels numb and body weak she slowly falling apart and doesn't know where to seek The help That she needs feel so far away Even though it's within her almost clear is day the struggle is real there's no doubt about that how can she relieve the rift between herself and the "her" that she needs back. The substance called crack that promised to be there and take the pain away When all it did was ruin her day, her week,her year, her life as a whole only to take over and control; to strip her of what she should have consoled that little girl screaming inside for help wishing someone would come save her from this hell But no one comes to her side to rescue her to save her from herself she's left in pieces of shame guilt and remorse To put herself back together with no Force To hold her down or have her back.She's on her own to get herself back From the pain and sorrow that holds her down. Where is her Crown? The one that reminds her of her strength, importance and worth on this Earth So she will stand tall and straighten her Crown in order to fight what brings her down She will free herself from the hell within. The fire that's been extinguished will ignite and she will win The battle. The battle between who she was and is..... With a grin.

There comes a moment—quiet, almost unnoticeable at first—when something begins to shift. Not everything. Not all at once. But enough. Enough to recognize that the life being survived is not the life meant to be lived. For individuals navigating addiction and mental health challenges, “taking power back” is not a motivational phrase. It is not a single breakthrough moment. It is a process of reclaiming self—piece by piece. What Addiction and Mental Illness Take Addiction does not only involve substances—it impacts identity. Mental illness does not only affect mood—it distorts thinking, self-worth, and the ability to trust internal judgment. Together, they create a cycle: *Self-doubt *Emotional instability *Shame *Escapism *Regret Research from the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health confirms that substance use disorders frequently co-occur with mental health conditions, reinforcing patterns of emotional dysregulation and negative self-concept (CAMH, 2023). Over time, individuals can lose connection with who they are. Internal narratives become dominated by criticism, and self-trust begins to erode. Trauma—particularly early and repeated trauma—further intensifies this cycle, increasing vulnerability to both addiction and mental health challenges (Public Health Agency of Canada, 2020). What “Taking Power Back” Actually Means Taking power back does not mean controlling everything. It means learning where control truly exists. Within trauma-informed practice, power is defined as the ability to exercise awareness, choice, and intentional response—not perfection or dominance (SAMHSA, 2014). It can look like: *Choosing not to engage with shame-based thinking *Setting boundaries, even when discomfort arises *Acknowledging triggers instead of avoiding them *Taking accountability without becoming consumed by guilt *Showing up consistently, even on difficult days The Mental Health Commission of Canada emphasizes that recovery is nonlinear and rooted in self-determination and hope (MHCC, 2015).

Putting yourself first is often misunderstood. In clinical spaces—particularly within mental health, addiction recovery, and child welfare—we see a consistent pattern: individuals who have survived trauma, chaos, caregiving burdens, and systemic gaps are often the last to receive care themselves. When they begin to prioritize their own stability, they are labeled selfish. They are not selfish. They are stabilizing. Self-Abandonment: A Trauma Pattern Self-abandonment is common in both mental illness and substance use disorders. It can present as: *Ignoring early warning signs of relapse *Staying in unsafe or dysregulated relationships *Avoiding treatment because others “need you more” *Neglecting sleep, nutrition, and medical care *Silencing emotional needs to prevent conflict The Canadian Centre on Substance Use and Addiction (CCSA) identifies trauma, chronic stress, and social instability as major drivers of substance use harms in Canada (CCSA, 2023). Similarly, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH) emphasizes that trauma exposure significantly increases risk for both mental health disorders and substance use disorders (CAMH, 2022). When we continuously put ourselves last, our nervous system does not regulate—it remains in survival mode. Prolonged activation of stress pathways increases vulnerability to depression, anxiety disorders, and relapse (Public Health Agency of Canada, 2020). What once protected you may now be exhausting you. Why Putting Yourself First Feels So Wrong For trauma survivors, prioritizing oneself can activate guilt, shame, and fear of abandonment. From a clinical lens, this may be linked to: *Insecure attachment patterns *Codependency dynamics *Learned hyper-independence *Developmental trauma *Internalized beliefs that worth is tied to usefulness Trauma-informed practice teaches us that self-neglect is often adaptive. It was a strategy to maintain safety, connection, or survival. But strategies built for survival rarely sustain recovery.

We talk a lot about personal responsibility when it comes to addiction and mental health. We talk far less about system responsibility. That silence matters—because for many people, addiction is not a failure of willpower. It is the predictable outcome of fragmented systems, delayed intervention, and policies that respond to crisis instead of prevention. In Canada, substance use and mental health challenges continue to rise, particularly among individuals with histories of trauma, poverty, child welfare involvement, and untreated mental illness (Canadian Centre on Substance Use and Addiction [CCSA], 2023). Yet our systems remain largely disconnected, reactive, and risk-driven. Addiction Is Not the Root Problem Addiction is a symptom, not the disease. Research consistently shows strong links between substance use, trauma exposure, adverse childhood experiences, and mental illness (Public Health Agency of Canada [PHAC], 2023). When addiction is treated in isolation—without addressing trauma, attachment, housing instability, or mental health—outcomes are predictably poor. People are told: “Get sober first, then we’ll treat your mental health.” “Stabilize your mental health, then address the addiction.” For individuals living in survival mode, this binary approach is not only unrealistic—it is clinically unsound. Best-practice Canadian frameworks clearly support integrated treatment for concurrent disorders, yet access remains inconsistent across provinces (Mental Health Commission of Canada [MHCC], 2021). Fragmented Care Creates Predictable Harm Mental health services, addiction treatment, income assistance, housing supports, and child welfare often operate in silos. Each system has its own eligibility rules, waitlists, and thresholds—many of which require a level of stability that the individual does not yet have. The result: Emergency department become default mental health providers. Detox programs function as revolving doors instead of pathways to recovery.

Loving someone who struggles with addiction is one of the most painful and complex experiences a person can face. You watch someone you care about disappear in pieces—moments of clarity followed by chaos, hope followed by heartbreak. You want to help, but nothing you do ever feels like enough. Addiction doesn’t just affect the individual—it impacts families, children, partners, and entire support systems. Research consistently shows that substance use disorders are associated with increased family stress, disrupted attachment, and intergenerational trauma, particularly when left untreated (Canadian Centre on Substance Use and Addiction [CCSA], 2023). Supporting someone with addiction requires empathy, education, and—often most overlooked—care for yourself. Understanding Addiction Through a Trauma Lens Addiction is not a moral failure or a lack of willpower. It is a complex, chronic health condition influenced by neurobiology, trauma exposure, mental illness, and social determinants of health (CCSA, 2023; National Institute on Drug Abuse [NIDA], 2024). *Many individuals use substances to: *Regulate overwhelming emotions *Cope with unresolved trauma or abuse *Manage untreated anxiety, depression, or PTSD *Numb feelings of abandonment, shame, or chronic stress Trauma-informed research shows a strong correlation between adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) and later substance use, highlighting addiction as a survival response rather than a choice (Felitti et al., 1998; Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration [SAMHSA], 2014). Lead With Compassion, Not Control Shame is one of the strongest predictors of continued substance use and relapse. Compassion, on the other hand, fosters psychological safety—an essential foundation for recovery (Brown, 2012; SAMHSA, 2014). Supportive communication includes: *Using person-first language (e.g., “a person with a substance use disorder”) *Expressing concern without blame *Listening without fixing, minimizing, or threatening