Don’t Forget to Teach Self-Confidence · The Life Skills Company

Don’t Forget to Teach Self-Confidence

I’ve been thinking about something that I think we, as special needs parents, can sometimes forget.

We have to intentionally build our children’s self-confidence, too.

We spend so much of our time teaching. How to communicate. How to get dressed. How to use the bathroom. How to shower. How to navigate school. How to be safe. How to become more independent.

And when your child needs significant support, so much of your relationship can naturally become about helping, prompting, redirecting and teaching.

But somewhere in all of that, they also need to hear:

You’re good at this.
I knew you could do it.
You figured that out.
I’m proud of you.
You should be proud of yourself. (This is a BIG one)

I think this is especially important for our children who are nonverbal or communicate differently.

Just because they may not tell us that they’re proud of themselves doesn’t mean they don’t feel it.

Just because they don’t ask us, “Do you think I can do this?” doesn’t mean they aren’t looking to us for that answer.

And when so much of their day involves adults identifying what they need help with, I think we have to be equally intentional about identifying what they’re capable of.

Let them overhear you telling someone how well they did something.
Give them a real responsibility at home.
Ask for their help.
Celebrate the attempt, even when they don’t quite get there.
Give them a chance to figure something out before jumping in.
Find the things they’re genuinely good at and make sure they know it.

Our kids spend a lot of their lives being told, directly or indirectly, what they can’t do yet. Home should also be the place where they learn:

I am capable.
I contribute.
I have things I’m good at.
People believe in me.

We talk a lot about building independence in this community. But I think part of building independence is raising a child who believes they are capable of doing things for themselves in the first place.

Self-confidence is a life skill, too.

And for some of our kids, we may need to teach it just as intentionally as everything else.

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Don’t Forget to Teach Self-Confidence