If your child needs help with toileting or hygiene at school, here’s something to ask at your next IEP meeting: How are you tracking their independence? Instead of simply documenting that your child “needs assistance,” ask the team to track the individual steps of the routine and how much prompting is needed. For example, toileting can be broken into clothing management, wiping, flushing, redressing and handwashing. Then use simple prompting levels: I — Independent V — Verbal prompt G — Gesture/visual prompt M — Modeling P — Physical assistance Why does this matter? A child moving from physical assistance → modeling → visual prompting → independence is making real progress. Without consistent logging, those changes can be easy to miss. Logging is even more useful when it connects directly to a measurable annual goal, objective or other documented IEP need. But don’t forget to get in writing how that information will be shared with you. How often will data be collected? Who is responsible for collecting it? How will progress be reported to you? Will different staff members use the same tracking system? The purpose isn’t to create more paperwork. It’s to answer one important question: Is my child becoming more independent? At your next IEP meeting, ask: “How are we currently measuring my child’s independence with hygiene and toileting routines, and can we establish a consistent way to track the level of prompting they need?” If you feel like you need a mid-year CSE meeting to change your IEP, reply to this post and I'll send you information on how to do that. I've also attached a printable as a sample to use at home or when meeting with your school.

Before we teach toothbrushing, there’s something we need to figure out first: Can your child physically do the movements we’re asking them to do? This is one of my favorite simple ways to check. Grab two plastic cups and a dry erase marker. Draw spots in the cups, hold them on either side of your child’s head (or glue them to an old headband), and have them practice reaching around to brush away all of the marks. I took an old toothbrush and glued the eraser of a dry erase marker to it. It looks a little silly — and that’s part of what makes it fun! But we’re actually looking for something important. - Can they reach the front? - Can they move their hand far enough back to reach the molars? - Can they change the angle of their wrist? - Can they reach both sides? - Can they coordinate the brushing motion while their hand is in those different positions? Sometimes we assume a child isn't brushing thoroughly because they don't understand the routine or aren't trying. But toothbrushing requires motor planning, coordination, range of motion and body awareness in addition to understanding the steps. This little activity gives you a chance to practice those movements outside of the mouth, without toothpaste, saliva, taste, texture or the sensory demands of actual brushing. If your child struggles to reach certain areas on the cups, that's useful information. Instead of repeatedly telling them to “brush the back teeth,” we now know there may be a physical skill that needs to be practiced first. Try it at home and let me know how they do! Could they erase every “tooth,” or did you find a spot that was harder for them to reach? If you're looking for any of the visual supports, you can find them here: https://cleanpluscomfort.com/collections/toothbrush-time

My son was recently diagnosed with all that and more… but what I am more concerned about the doctors seem to want to ignore. Back in February my 6year old (son) hurt my 3 year old daughter bad unintentionally they were playing and he got rougher than usual. Does anyone else deal with extreme aggression with their child? Any advice? All he wants to do is fight or similar he even bangs his toys as if they are…

On Sept. 23, a federal judge entered a final order in Texas v. Kennedy that removed the community-integration provisions from the 2024 federal regulations implementing Section 504. This applies nationwide — not just in the states that brought the lawsuit. So what does that actually mean for families? The underlying laws have not disappeared. Section 504 still prohibits disability discrimination. The Americans with Disabilities Act remains in effect. And the Supreme Court's Olmstead decision, which recognized the right of people with disabilities to receive services in integrated settings when appropriate, has not been overturned. What has changed is the federal regulatory framework. The 2024 HHS rule contained specific language requiring covered health and human-service programs to administer services in the most integrated setting appropriate and addressing the risk of unnecessary institutionalization. Those provisions have now been vacated. Disability-rights organizations say that removes an important layer of federal regulatory protection and guidance around community living. Why am I talking about this in a life-skills community? Because life skills don't exist in a vacuum. We teach showering, toileting, cooking, laundry, communication and other daily living skills because we're trying to give our children as much independence, choice and participation in their communities as possible. And as our children get older, questions about where they will live, what supports they will receive and whether those supports can be delivered in the community become enormously important. This ruling doesn't mean your child suddenly loses the right to live in the community. But it does mean families should understand that an important piece of the federal regulatory structure supporting community integration has changed. I'm going to keep following what happens next, particularly what this could mean at the state level and for families planning for adulthood. Question for parents of older children and adults: Have you already started thinking about where your child will live as an adult?

Many of you have reached out asking for more tools and resources for caregiver support, so we've refocused our classroom rollout to make this a priority. The Caregiver Reset is a six-week program for parents and caregivers who spend so much time anticipating and responding to everyone else's needs that they don't always recognize when they're running on empty. This isn't about finding an extra hour in your day for “self-care.” We're starting much smaller. Over six weeks, we'll learn to recognize stress earlier, understand our own patterns, experiment with different ways to decompress and build realistic reset tools that fit into actual caregiving life. Sometimes you might have 10 minutes. Sometimes two. Sometimes 30 seconds. The introduction is available now, and Week 1 officially begins next Sunday: Recognizing When You're Running on Empty. For now, listen to the introduction below. I'll walk you through what we're doing, why we're doing it and a few simple things you can do this week to get ready. Then we'll start together next Sunday. *The Caregiver Reset will be offered as a separate paid course within The Life Skills Co., with a $39 price for the full first six-week course. Your regular $5 membership and included resources aren't changing.