Self Talk · Autonomy Armor

Self Talk

The way you talk to yourself is so important!

I used to talk about myself in a way that I thought I was being a friend to myself or that I was saying what others were thinking. I used to try to beat people to what I felt they were judging me on. I started listening to motivational videos and learned that successful people who vibrate on high-vibrations didn't talk to themselves in ways that limited their abilities, opportunities etc. I stopped saying, "I can't" do stuff unless I physically could not and started saying why I wouldn't do that thing. It helped me start separating the difference between what I wanted to do and was not able to do or stuff that I didn't want to do and was obligating myself etc. I started learning more about myself in changing my narrative.

I once had someone tell me that I don't take compliments well, or that the way I receive compliments was annoying. I could feel it. Like my lack of confidence was being shown in my words and body behavior. One time I told a new therapist the things I wanted to improve on and I thought she was going to diagnose me with something serious and she said, "so you want more confidence". I thought she was minimalizing my problems and then I learned years later that there was truth in that.

I started changing the way I think and the narrative I tell myself with motivational videos on YouTube.

I used to build people up when they spoke down on themselves and I would go to that dark place with them. I knew that it came from a place of being judged or bullied and I understood how that felt, but it would take me a lot of emotional energy to go there and still keep my good mood. Then I had to learn how to express that I didn't like it when my friends talked down on themselves. I didn't like being around people who called me, or themselves, stupid or ridiculous etc. Then I started talking to myself differently and choosing who to be around. People who didn't talk about their who didn't make me feel even worse about myself or who also wanted to hear how I was doing and took me into consideration.

It started to become important to me that the people around me don't put themselves down and I realized that a lot of people are keen to putting themselves down and they are still successful or happy at times. Some people even joke when they are putting themselves down or they joke on others and put them down and I learned that it's not a put down to every person. Some people build themselves up with what sounds like a put down to someone else.

Be honest, do you speak to yourself with kindness and understanding? Do you know when you don't or are you still working to notice when you do?

Do you make jokes at your expense? How do you soothe yourself when you're anxious?

How are your eating habits? How do you find comfort?

The story that you tell yourself, shapes who you are and lives in your actions and behaviors.

Comment below on your own self talk.

My own self talk is positive and I match what's on the inside on the outside. I like to make sure that other people hear what I'm telling myself and make sure that things line up in similar understandings even with different perspectives. I do reality testing, haha.

I still spiral if I'm in a high stress situation. I have gotten better at asking for what I want/need and that helps greatly. I had to learn how it feels when I say what I'm thinking and reflect on why certain thoughts are coming from certain emotions. That is the difference between feelings and emotions is that feelings come from thoughts that are based on emotions. So interesting!

Vote and comment below.

🧠How does your self-talk sound when things don’t go the way you hoped?

“It’s all my fault — I should’ve known better.”

“Why do I always mess things up?”

“No one cares anyway. I’ll just deal with it myself.”

“I’m too much / not enough. I probably pushed them away.”

“I need to be stronger. I can’t let anyone see this.”

“I did my best, but maybe there’s something deeper I can learn here.”

“Honestly… I don’t even know what I’m feeling.”

None of these feel quite right — drop your version in the comments!

2 votes

2 comments