27d • The Professor Writings
Mattering
“Our fear of not mattering much has the potential to draw us away from what matters most.” – Andy Stanley
Do I matter?
This is the question I ask myself regularly at the end of my professional career and beginning of retirement. I can go down the list of accolades from people I have worked with over the years. People I have listened to and truly heard. People in difficult stages of life who had sought my counsel. Although it is true that I mattered in their moment, years later it is easy in the silence to convince myself that it was all for naught. The social calendar is relatively empty, the kids have their own lives, friends are still working. So why should you read about what I have to say on this topic?
This is an example of me placing my vulnerability in your lap. I hesitate to write about this thinking it shows a sign of weakness, but that is just my fear and courage is action despite the presence of fear. I know that if I am feeling vulnerable than more than likely others are as well. I believe that the feeling that I have had impact during my time in this life justifies good feelings about who I am. Deep down it is how I define being worthy to be loved. Funny because over the years I have told countless people that they matter because they breathe, yet I find it so hard to apply to myself. The hobbies I find most fulfilling are those when I restore old items or repurpose them to be enjoyed again such as an old house or piece of furniture. I love creating beauty out of what was once discarded. I have often wondered if deep down this speaks to my outlook on life. We all eventually hit a point where we feel discarded in life and must look deeper to find our inner beauty to be brought forth.
Do you see your beauty? How do you present your beauty to the world? What does your inner beauty say about you?
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Mattering
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