Pool reflection: The moment I stopped chasing men.

OK, so right now I’m laying by a pool in Bangkok. It’s pretty warm outside. The wind is blowing my hair into my lip gloss and I randomly remembered the old me.

This is embarrassing, I remember a time when I wrote a four page letter to a guy that barely liked me back and I was convinced that if I just put in more effort into our relationship that would magically fix the issues I remember spending probably two hours on this. I mailed it to him, and then he never replied. A few days later I asked him if he got it. He said something to the extent of yeah I think I saw it on my counter I just haven’t opened it yet. After that I broke up with him, I realized he wasn’t ready to invest any time into me haha.

As I wrote this, niklavs ordered me a coconut to be delivered to me at the pool. He’s at the gym, LEGIT HOW SWEET, I’m so glad I’m with a man who invests into me.

What I wish I knew back then was I should’ve used those two hours writing a love letter to myself or hitting the gym or brushing my hair or taking my rabbit on a walk because honestly anything is better than pouring time and effort into a man who genuinely doesn’t chase you.

Was there ever a moment in your life when you decided OK that’s it. I’m done chasing men because honestly, I think that moment when I wrote that guy such a long letter that was when I was like OK I’m never doing that to a man who doesn’t invest energy into me lol.

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