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Your To Die For Life
29 members • Free
13 contributions to Your To Die For Life
Mar 4 •
Regularly Contribute to a "Future Me Fund"
Confession time: I spent years making financial decisions based on temporary happiness, and now that I’m in my 60’s I realize that was… Hmmmm….what’s the opposite of “wise”? Oh yeah: DUMB! Like, why did I spend all that money on designer shoes when I could have contributed it to retirement? The financial choices we make now will set us up either for freedom or regret in our later years. So this is my reminder to you… Regularly contribute to a “Future Me Fund” — aka a retirement fund. Literally label your retirement account “Future Me Fund.” Why label it this way? Because when you do, then you’re remembering there’s a Future You out there… counting on you not to be the opposite of wise (aka: dumb!). This is actually research based. In my book Your To Die For Life I share a fascinating study called: “Saving for the Future Self: Neural Measures of Future Self-Continuity Predict Temporal Discounting.” (Yeah, academics really love their long-winded titles, eh?) Anyway . . . in this study, researchers showed participants a glimpse of their future selves using the digital wizardry of a face-aging app. They showed people what they’d look like several decades down the line. Wrinkles, age spots, the works! Then, something remarkable happened. People who confronted their future, aged selves were more likely to save for retirement rather than spend their money on immediate gratification. It was as if coming face-to-face with their future faces ultimately slapped some sense into them. Like a cinematic moment, where “Old Them” traveled back in time and shook “Young Them” by the shoulders and yelled, “Wake up, you fool! Quit blowing all of our cash!” The takeaway? When you confront the reality of Future You, you think about your present choices differently. You become more motivated to improve your daily habits — to make Future You happier. So, whenever you’re tempted to make an impulse purchase, ask yourself: “Is this worth taking from Future Me?”
0 likes • Apr 6
I love this idea, and I love that picture, Karen!
Mar 25 •
My marble jar.
I made my jar! It felt really therapeutic to do that and it was a great reflection and mindful exercise for me. I chose a jar I already had and I bought the small marbles at Michael’s art store. One jar of the small clear marbles from their store was exactly 600 marbles (which is exactly what I needed, since I’m turning 50 very soon), so it was meant to be. I just hope that as I lose a marble each month, I don’t actually “lose my marbles”…some days, especially recently, it certainly feels like that, but keeping a good sense of humor about it is essential. 😂🤣😬🫣
0 likes • Apr 6
I like those simple, clear marbles, Debby! Will check out Michael's, as I have to get mine, still. I'm a few years ahead of you, but will still shoot for 50 more years to make up for the marbles I've already lost. 🤪
Mar 16 •
When I Die, These Are The Things I'll Miss The Most
Although many death poets write about missing sunsets and butterflies, I will be missing these other less talked about tinier things. (See my newest essay) https://substack.com/home/post/p-159153880
0 likes • Apr 5
I will miss: the music, poetry, art; the curiosity and emotions from discovery, relief, reunion, redemption; the stories of humanity we get to come across in person or through books or online; the dreams, good intentions, even grief and sorrow (for these are rooted in love); the way the sun filters through the leaves, clean, serene, sparkling magic; the way I experienced world as a child, thinking too deeply, and again as an adult, with the curiosity of a child; the love I felt for every person once upon a time--even the ones who would eventually hurt me--b/c that love was created by/through me, and is still mine to keep. I will miss so much about this world, but the greatest of these is Love and its struggle to resurface, over and over through all the tumbling and bumbling of being a spirit in a human body.
Mar 28 •
Marble-ish jar
Here is my jar with polished stones. It’s only 12 years worth; not because that’s all I hope to live, but because I want to grow, and become more creative, connected, stronger, and healthier from now until my seventieth birthday (12 years from this June). I want to hyper-focus on these things now, so that the last 25-30 years of my life can hold wonderful possibilities. (It should be fun to put 10 years of stones back and re-start the jar 3 more times!🤞🏼🍀)
2 likes • Apr 5
Lovely! Great idea to get stones! I've been hem-hawing, trying to figure out if I want to do marbles or river rocks or fire stones or what! (Maybe a combo of all??) Thanks for sharing and the inspiration! :D
Apr 1 •
🌟 This Week’s Core Value: Gratitude!🌟
When life feels hard, cut down on the overthinking—and start over-thanking! This week focus more on what you have to be grateful about. Write some "I am grateful... and so I ______" statements. Share these statements + the various things you're grateful about... down below! Train yourself to be a gratitude collector of joyful moments. - The way your dog greets you like you’re a Beatles reunion tour - The smell of rain on a warm pavement - That first sip of coffee that tastes like a high-five to your soul These aren’t just consolation prizes while you wait for the big win. They’re real-deal happiness—hidden in plain sight. - You’ve got 1,440 minutes in a day. Use at least five of them to focus on gratitude.
0 likes • Apr 5
I'm grateful that I have not lost myself, the root of my peace, joy, humanity, despite all the pain I've experienced, despite all the harmful people that I had been surrounded by since I was 16. So much contact with darkness, yet I feel my innocence still. I see the light of others and am drawn towards them b/c they feel like kindred spirits, and so I feel grateful that I may feel such a way, b/c I know that I have "made it," no matter where I am or what earthly spoils I may have "lost." No real casualties, even through many deaths. I am so grateful for meeting pure spirits of light, like Karen (no exaggeration, as you all know), b/c such encounters, connections in this big, messy, chaotic world are miracles. 1 miracle a lifetime is already incredible, but imagine more than 1?? (Look at us, all here together!) I'm grateful for a body that served me so well my entire life, even though it is breaking down now w/out the firewall of my hormones, w/menopause in my home. I'm grateful for having had a strong foundation of a beautiful, loving family before my brother's death destroyed us all and sent us into the wilderness of the world, each to learn what so many others have been struggling with all this time, to fend for ourselves w/no tools and tender skin. No matter where I am now, I am aware some never got to have the body I started out with, the childhood I get to remember. I feel sorrow for them and cannot complain about my losses in these respects. I'm grateful to be able to be grateful, b/c this means that I am generating the light that I am living off of, so my spirit will never truly starve, and I will always have enough to share. I have seen the pain in those who've harmed and taken from me--and others, the spirit in their eyes hollow and/or glittering with greed, cruelty, ever-starving for more and most and all...and hating me for the light that I have within, not understanding that it is simply my humanity... ...and my gratitude from and for it. <3
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