Did you know we create fear inside ourselves? Fear is often disguised as concern. Or care. Or superimposed over love. Fear generates inside us when we perceive a threat. When we don’t perceive a threat, fear will not generate. To the extent we learn to redefine threats as opportunities is the amount we reduce our creation of fear.

When God says, “Be angry, and do not sin” He’s telling us a couple of really important things: Be angry: He’s encouraging us to feel anger. Not merely allowing us to feel it, encouraging us to feel it. Too many try not to feel angry when they actually do. They try to act as if they don’t feel it. Suppress it. Or convince themselves it’s wrong. But it’s encouraged, by God Himself. The anger isn’t right or wrong, it’s a signal. What we do because of it is what decides that. …and do not sin… Another thing He’s saying is that feeling angry doesn’t have to decide how we act or how we treat people. We can still control ourselves no matter how much anger we feel. …and give no opportunity to the devil. Not only that, but when we get this, we discover how to prevent the enemy access into our lives. Could it be that trying to suppress anger opens a door to the enemy? Could acting like we don’t feel give him access? Or is allowing it to decide what we do the thing that actually grants him a foothold? Yes, yes, and yes. In other words, dishonesty about anger is an opening the enemy will take advantage of. Honesty shuts him out.

If we mistake stubbornness for faithfulness we can give ourselves permission to degrade and sabotage our relationships in the name of God.

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Sometimes a sense of superiority can creep into our relationships, where we start seeing ourselves as better than our spouse. We can then begin praying from that superior position, seeking God to change them and help them get better, so they can be more like what we want them to be. God resists the proud, and gives grace to the humble. A sense of superiority is only remedied with humility. Without humility, God will resist the very prayers we pray for our spouse to change.