The title threw me off at first. Got hella defensive and answered uhhh yeah! I use sex as a goal for all my relationships and most of the one in currently in. Use it as a reward system like you mentioned doing extra, going above and beyond all while thinking this will get me laid later. Using it as a balance for what I was angry about or something I didn’t want to talk about but had to to feel seen. Instead of talking about the issue or why I was angry I’d use the sex to sweep it under the rug and not reach my core issues directly. But after watching, I totally agree that after a child (or two) things change a lot. Time, arousal, emotional support, among other things seem to have to all line up for intercourse to take place without resentment or negative feelings from my wife. I think it’s a mindset change that takes place sometime during the period when women cannot have intercourse that it hit me for real that I had an issue with sex. Our whole mindset around sex is usually based off of our adolescence and friends during that time. It is so fake a skewed and distant from truth that many men and women get taught the wrong lesson about sex. It’s about social status which makes it selfish and virtually impossible to connect emotionally and we all have to unlearn that at some point or we get hurt by rejections. Or worse you’re left temporarily satisfied while your loved one is indifferent at best. I like to think some of those rejections taught me but idk. Easy to say now but in those moments idk anymore. Over time you learn things when you put your emotions aside to put yourself in the women’s shoes. Yeah lots of men need to hear all this and be exposed to a world that doesn’t revolve around orgasms. Sex is emotional first and not getting sex can be a learning experience for me, Where am I falling short, What to do next time to be more attentive to her needs. This all being said because yes we definitely need sex. Just not as much and not the ways most us millennials were taught via friends, internet self education, and pornography. Thanks for sharing everything 🙌🏻