@Dani Rosenblad James I still wasn't happy with that updated version, so I went back to the drawing board, AGAIN. I wasn't sure what this story wants to be and a lot of the characters are clamoring for a bigger voice. So, I listened and I'm taking time to write the story from each character's perspective. Maybe it'll work as a novel, maybe it'll be story development. Who can tell at this point?

@Shirley-Louise Daniels I took a totally different approach. Hopefully this is the voice this book has been looking fore.

@Dani Rosenblad James I always forget to celebrate! I should get better at that. To me, it's like washing dishes. Like, I don't celebrate when I wash a mug. But this is a much bigger deal than washing dishes, huh?

In my novel, I'm writing toward a real event that happened in Iraq. It has to do with SA, to read the rest carefully. I've always been very protective of the women in my life. I was raised to believe that my strength is for protection, not danger and I've always viewed myself as chivalrous - I don't always get it right, but I try to be a gentleman. In the Air Force, most women were treated...poorly. There was the face the guys put on around the women, and the face they showed when the ladies weren't around. I trusted most of the guys, but every once in a while, I'd hear a story that rattled me and pissed me off. Anyway...I'd been up to a forward operating base in a remote area. There'd been a scandal involving a young female Airman, three male Airmen, and some photos. It really rattled me because I knew the female Airman and she was a really good kid - funny, smart, athletic, diligent, and really cute. After the incident, she was sent home and spent some time in a mental health facility. Well, one night, a few months after this happened, I was getting packed up and ready to head home. I'll never forget this. I was walking down a dark part of the base, rounded a corner, and bumped in a stunningly beautiful young Airman. I could tell she'd only been in country for a little while because she had an optimistic look in her eyes, and her uniform was still clean and fresh. She asked me for directions and explained that she was heading to that same forward operating base. I've never felt so helpless. I wanted to put my arm around her and keep her safe and do whatever I could to send her back home. But I couldn't. She had orders. I had orders. We both had some place to be, and I had to just give her directions. That moment has haunted me ever since. I never knew her name or where she was from. All I knew is that the guys who had been involved with the other Airmen were still up there and hadn't faced any real consequences. And besides those guys, there'd been mortar attacks, gunfights, crashes. It was a dangerous spot.

@Shirley-Louise Daniels I appreciate your kindness, but I'd be careful about attributing these behaviors to testosterone or masculinity. I've met enough women who abused power, and enough men who acted with extraordinary compassion, that I no longer see it as a male-versus-female issue. For me, it's a human issue. Power, fear, conformity, and empathy are available to all of us.

Woof...so many. Right now, I almost slipped and started working on another non-fiction book, but held myself to my promise to work on a novel next. The working title is Catfish Air, and it's a fictionalized story of the experiences I had while deployed to Iraq in 2009. Since it's based on real people and events, I'm using it as a chance to work on pacing, narrative, conflicts, and all that stuff. It's turning out really well.

@Dani Rosenblad James I was thinking a "this is based on actual events" kind of statement. All the stories are things I experienced, or friends of experienced, but I made up characters, and brought different events and characteristics together. Like, Master Sergeant Erwin is based on my friends Chris, Jack, and Dan, and what happens to him is based on a couple of other friends. The whole story is quilted together like that.

@Shirley-Louise Daniels but how is your fiction writing? That's a different muscle.

@Shirley-Louise Daniels I see that. You've been prolific. But how's the writing?