Thank you for the explanation of cheap dopamine and good dopamine. I finally understand!

Oh my gosh yes. I think for me libraries and bookstores make me feel like superwoman - a huge dopamine dump. Sometimes even the next day I can't remember why I thought this book fit perfectly into my life. Now I have the Libby app.and because I live in NY state I can claim the Brooklyn and NYC libraries as my own. They have so many more selections than our local library. Thankfully there is a wish list because I am prone to checking them out and then having to return them without even cracking the cover. Now I limit myself. One audio book at tine

Do you have a couple links for where you started?

I have sort of given up on any NT person ever understanding if they have already made up their mind. It is impossible for someone who has an internal clock to know what it's like to not have one. I have resorted to 2 ways of dealing with it. 1. The majority of people, who have no influence in my life I just keep my mouth shut. Honestly it's not worth the effort. 2.This is what I do when one of the above people starts trash talking ADHD or with someone in my circle who needs to hear the truth from me and needs to stop spewing garbage at me like my FIL who said " I am so sick of people using ADHD as an excuse for not doing their work." I get my best teacher voice on and I get very preachy and firm. And I tell them it's time they listen to the facts and the science. The bottom line is my brain is wired completely different than yours. And then I basically give a lecture on the science and how many other things like hyper mobility are associated with ADHD. I also talk about how productivity solutions that work for NTs actually turn off the ND brain. (I went to a new doctor who asked me about ADHD. I did my "thing" and after 20 minutes she said,whew that's the best explanation of ADHD I have ever heard. And of course when I realized how much time I had been talking I was embarrassed! RSD) And in my final remarks I say you have 2 choices. You can continue to judge me by neurotypical standards or you can decide that having a healthy relationship with me is worth listening and choosing to believe that God made us differently. If you are skeptical , is a relationship with me worth doing some research on your own? I ccf you continue to judge me as lazy and throw neurotypical solutions at me,which do not work for a ND brain, our relationship will become very shallow. I know who I am. ADHD comes with giftings which you have benefitted from during our relationship, but it also comes with differences that make life in an NT world difficult. And then, if I really care about this relationship I add this. The interesting thing is if I developed an infection in my leg and had to have it amputated.

Years ago I was in a group that Brooke Noel sponsored. It was before cell phones and zoom.. We would meet online at the top of the hour to commit to a task and report back at the next top of the hour. I loved it and got so much done