Don't remember the name of the song from where those words about the rain falling came, but like all things in life a little rain is necessary for growth. And as a caregiver, I couldn't possibly believe things could get harder. They do - and then that passes, or so they say. Eventually, I guess. Never would have believed I could cry so hard to the point of beyond migraine and feeling like you could vomit - and for days afterwards. Never would have thought MAiD could be a blessing and something so hard to deal with personally on a deeply emotional level. If you were part of my pack, I would walk through fire for you and come out the other side, singed a bit ... but I'd find a way, no matter what, if it took my last breath. Only this time, it wasn't fire, it was something else entirely. And I won't rant about the lack of humanity in certain things back then, like not allowing services of certain kinds. We often treat our pets more humanely than we treat our family. Choices. Emotions. Inner convictions, beliefs, everyone's got an opinion and everyone's circumstances are different, but the end result is still the same. Where do you go from here? How can you possibly GROW from this? Not choosing is also a choice was a mantra - until it wasn't. Sometimes the choice inadvertently ends up being a warped kind of time-loop. And sometimes the choice is a daily negotiation to just live one minute, one moment at a time. Then one day at a time, then ... you get the idea. And then, it's like the sun slowly breaking through the clouds after a long, long rain ... and you start to regain your footing, and you begin find joy in things you once did - or maybe you find something else that re-fuels your soul. It could be photography (like me), or painting (I used to), or gardening (another love), fishing, hiking, a fast car and a windy road, or just sitting on the beach and soaking in the new essence of who and what you are allowing into your life and your "self".