Hi yall missed you guys. Last night I got on my elliptical and did 20 mins after not doing it for probably 2 months. I also have been walking with my weighted vest. No work today so I’ve been cleaning and I hung with my sponsee. Now I’m chilling in my kiddie pool with my dog. I prayed for nights like these and I’m feeling super grateful.

I didnt planned writing this as I dont want to overshare. I need to work and show you my results once I got big news and I have an accountability partner for my daily wins but today I had a big win: Today something different happened. My first week at my new job has been difficult ("you are not made for this", "they may have made a mistake on the recruitment" ...). The choice was made: I'm smoking tonight after work. Then, leaving work, something familiar happened in my head while driving: "should I really smoke?" "Yes I do" "No, you said never again" "Yes but just one, then back to the sobriety journey" ... I've had this discussion with myself 1000 times before and the "Yes, Let's smoke" always won. This time was no different, it was winning the contest by far, as always. But on the last turn before kaos I turned right instead of left. First time ever. The "NO" got up and KO'ed the "Yes" with 0 pity. Why? I'm done with the problems that comes with smoking. It promises a calm high but makes you paranoid, promises you peace but brings you anxiety. I know what was behind that left turn, I've been there multiple times. I just listened to the rational thought and instinct instead of that imaginary feeling. It may seem a normal story to you but its not it's a huge win, EPIC win. I thought I was done but I realised I can relapse anytime... but at least not today. This post helps me to reinforce the thought and my instinct I had today that saved my day. It reinforce the sobriety decision. War just started for me. This Sunday marks 5 weeks with 0 smoking and not getting high at all. Wishing blessing to you all. This community and Kelly energy are from other planet. Please Kelly keep uploading long and short videos in YouTube.