Once again, I agree with Tim. I think he is spot on with that reply.

I'm with Tim on this one. Clearly establishing your touchpoints help all members feel like they are supported without being micromanaged. I believe you also need to have irregular check-in's just to "shoot the breeze." Talk to them, develop a professional relationship that isn't directly centered around work. You need to know your people and they need to know you. You can get quite a bit of information on them, their teams, their projects, etc. just from some simple conversations. You need to build that trust and doing it remotely is a little more challenging than face to face, but not impossible.

The first fact that usually needs to be clarified is who actually owns the decision and the outcome. Most conflicts I see in work environments, aren’t about personalities—they’re about unclear authority, priorities, or standards. People argue positions because no one has clearly stated who decides, what matters most, or what “right” even looks like. Once ownership and intent are clear, a lot of conflict resolves itself. Without that clarity, conversations just loop and frustration builds. Before trying to “fix” the conflict, I want to know who owns this, what standard applies, and what decision are we trying to make?

@Tim Staton

Absolutely!!!!! This is something that EVERYONE needs to work on and develop. It really didn't kick in for me until later in life, but like Tim said "seek understanding first and foremost." I use almost the same lines, ones that I learned from a fantastic leader and officer, "seek first to understand." Usually when I tell the person I am speaking with that is my intention, they lower their guard and will keep explaining until I understand.

I really like the line "Strong coaches balance support with standards, ensuring growth does not replace accountability." I think that is what trips some leaders up, they don't "hold the line" when coaching. I believe this is due to fear that they will somehow lose the trust of the individual being coached. If you have built trust in the individual, and they understand you are always consistent in your judgement and decision making process you can easily say something like, “You’re improving—and this still isn’t acceptable yet.” “I see the effort—and the standard hasn’t changed.” “I’m here to help—and you’re still responsible.” As a leader, once you understand this balance, real development can begin. Without it, you become a babysitter or bully and neither produces the results you are looking for.