This is going to be a very long post, but ive been having a hard time processing what im experiencing and just need to get my story out because everyone views this man as a saint and a perfect partner. And that is just so far from my experience with him and i feel so manipulated. Im sorry this isnt the successful self growth progress update i wanted my 1 month marker to be. Ive officially hit one month post breakup and i thought i was heading in the right direction but the last few days have been a huge struggle for me. For context: (I am 28, he is 30) i was recently broken up with over text by my partner of 3.5 years after living together for 2/2.5 ish years. It has been a very confusing time for me and through self reflection ive realized that i was put through a lot of mental and emotional abuse that im honestly embarrassed by. I wasn’t ignoring the red flags, i literally could not see them at all. This last month has had me in a mental spiral trying to decipher the reality i had perceived was happening and the reality of the man he was actually being behind his mask. Ive felt like i have been on the verge of a mental breakdown trying to comprehend any of this (i am safe and in therapy) I went no contact with him immediately but had a friend that got left behind on one of his social medias accidentally. (This friend is no longer on his socials and i have no further attachment to him now) This accidental tether to my ex was the reason i found out that not only has my ex already hard launched his new girlfriend, but he was actually officially with her exactly 2 weeks after the breakup. He had spent most of our relationship confiding in me about his traumas, especially his trauma around his fathers affair. Because of this i foolishly trusted him to be faithful without a single doubt. This lead to him having the ability to micro cheat on me with all of his little internet ladies and overall disrespecting me and my boundaries. (Examples include: love confessions from these women, nudes from these women, woman blatantly asking when he was going to leave me for them or if they could be his second girlfriend ect) i know about all of this because he would either sit me down and tell me to be “transparent that he shut them down” (i now realize this was him trying to show me he had options) and he would also be on live public tiktok streams with these women on speakerphone while i was in the room. I would hear them making fun of my appearance and my weight and while he would never encourage it he would “laugh it off” and when i would talk to him about how it hurt that he didnt set boundaries/defend me it would start an argument about how i didnt hear everything and that he does defend me when im not overhearing the conversations. This had me feeling crazy and controlling and i didnt want to dictate his friendships so i trusted his word.

Team! I'm so excited to have you here to begin (and continue to) level up your lives :D Please introduce yourself, where you're from, and what your goals are for the future! Be as specific as you'd like or just give us a general insight into you and what makes you have the goals you do. Grateful to have all of you here - you make me, and this community, better because you are in it! Yours, Coach