I really like the start of this! Excited to see you continue developing it. I think it’s a great theme and I enjoy the melody you’ve written. One initial thought about the chorus- ending on the debt being erased at the cross feels a little off to me. It makes sense in a way, but I wonder if it would be better to keep the entire chorus about living for God by his mercy/grace and then instead focus on the cross with verse 2 or something like that. So the chorus is primarily about that theme of living more for God, and one of the verses can connect it to the cross. As is, that line feels like an odd ending because it introduces new concepts rather than wrapping up the preceding lines. Maybe a theoretical outline could be: Verse 1 establishes the premise. the chorus reflects on the theme of living for God. Verse 2 establishes that we can only live for God by the power of the cross. Verse 3 somehow points to us living faithfully for God until we die / Christ returns. I hope you keep working on this! I like where it’s going.

Here's an updated sketch with the proposed new lyrics and a proposed alteration to the melody in those two parts of the chorus! It isn't exactly what you suggested in your previous comment, but it's what came most naturally to me as I was singing through it. I tried to sort of mirror the pattern of the previous phrase. If you want to change it, let me know! It's just in mm. 24 and 32. Outside of that and the Dmaj7/F#, I didn't change notes or voicings anywhere else yet. I am hoping to sketch out some initial choir parts to experiment with at our last rehearsal tonight before we take a summer break! If you're pleased with the final arrangement, I'd love to potentially use it at our church when the choir reconvenes in the fall. In terms of key: I initially tried it out as high as F major or G, but I think the tune suits the text better down closer to Db. I'm thinking I will land on D major, but I'm not totally sure. It sounds nice in those higher keys, but it almost starts to sound too bright for the text, if that makes sense. I'm still not settled one way or the other, though, so I'd be curious to hear your thoughts! If you have a strong sense of what key it should be in, I will defer to that.

One last check in on this for now! I ended up finishing a rough draft yesterday afternoon and we sang through it at rehearsal. People were very excited about it and loved your tune/text! Our choir is on break for the summer, so I'll work on this in the background over the next few months. I've attached my rough draft of the choral score, in case you want to give any thoughts/feedback. I've not yet written out the piano score, so I'll be able to flesh out some of those extended harmonies better once the piano is involved. I've also included a short snippet of us singing it! We were down a few key sopranos, so the melody gets lost a bit, but it gives you the gist of the chorus. I think I'll probably try it in Eb, as you suggested! I agree about the color on piano and it would help get a few of those lower notes a bit more volume. I wish I needed to consider string parts! We had two great violinists in our church who have each moved away, so I haven't been able to write for stings in a bit.

@Jon Hutchens This is all great! In response to some of the numbers: 1). I initially saw it as more reflective too, but as I worked on the text it began to naturally take on a more upbeat and rhythmic feel for me. 4). I meant something more majestic/regal vs. the more contemporary and almost casual feel of how I played it on this demo! You could do this melody without the syncopated accomp. and using piano/organ or piano and strings, for example, and it would have a different feel. The way I played it in is probably how we would do it if we used it at my church, but someone in a different context could use it differently. 5-9). I think all of these lyric suggestions are helpful! Especially the note about the rising of the sun being a reference to scope rather than duration. I was definitely thinking more along the lines of praising from morning to evening, so it’d be worth looking at how to incorporate that theme of scope. I will try to think through some alternate versions of the text this week, but you’re welcome to work on it too! Here’s the text again as I had it (with some structural notes) Stanza 1 (call to worship) Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! Praise His name forevermore. From the rising of the sun, ‘Til the passing day is done, Let His people sing His praise; Let us glorify His name! Refrain: See Him seated high, Over earth and sky, Who is like the Lord our God? From the break of dawn Let His praise go on, Oh, who is like the Lord? Stanza 2 (the father’s immanence and transcendence) See Him in His majesty, He who spoke the world to be; See Him bend to hear our cry, All our needs to satisfy. He who sits enthroned above Condescends to us in love! Stanza 3 (reading Christ back into the psalm) See Him in our Savior, Christ, He who dwells in blinding light; See Him leave His glorious throne To redeem us for His own. He has raised us from the dust; He has bought us by His blood! I think it makes sense to keep the last verse focused on how Christ fulfills the psalm as the ultimate example of God condescending from the throne and raising us from the dust, but I wonder if there’s a way to work in that theme of hope that you mentioned too.

@Jon Hutchens Here's the version I came up with! We can compare and contrast these. I'll give the text first, and then my thoughts. 1- Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! Praise His name forevermore Let each nation, tribe, and land Bow before His mighty hand Let His people sing His praise Let us glorify His name! Chorus - unchanged 2 - See Him in His majesty, He who spoke the world to be; See Him bend to hear our cry, All our needs to satisfy He who sits enthroned above Condescends to us in love! Chorus 3 - See Him in our Savior Christ, He, the perfect sacrifice. See Him come into our night Turning darkness into light. He has given hope to us; He has raised us from the dust! Chorus Thoughts: I decided to stick with the same flow of: v1 call to worship - v2 the father's transcendence and immanence - v3 Christ as the ultimate example of God's immanence and provision. I think that pattern of basically exegeting the Psalm in its OT context and then applying it to Christ makes sense here, but I can also see the argument for making the entire text "exegesis" and working Christ in where it's appropriate, meaning: v1 Call to worship - v2 transcendence - v3 immanence (include Christ here). However, I'm afraid that might muddy up the verse on immanence, if that makes sense. I also don't think we necessarily need an entire verse on transcendence, since it's a major theme in the chorus and verse 1. As you mentioned from the previous messages, I tried to better work in those themes of the nations and the hope we have in Christ (the barren woman.) I have technically included each of those themes in this version, but I also think the new lyrics don't roll off the tongue in quite the same way. I'd be open to suggestions! I think it's good to get as close as we can to including all the original themes, but I also think at some point we can prioritize what sings better without compromising on the integrity of the lyrics. I think your thought about clarifying who we are speaking to is worth considering! Your suggested line "See the Father's majesty" could work for verse 2, if we think that's important. I think it's somewhat implied from the context of verse 1 and the chorus that we're primarily addressing the Father, but it's always worth considering if there are ways we need to be more clear!

I really like this! The melody strikes a great balance of being simple to follow but also engaging to sing. It feels very well suited for congregational singing. I agree with Jon 100% on the chorus! I think cutting out the passing tones and just doing 3-5-6 (with a shorter pick up) would give the song more momentum and punch. I also agree that you don’t need the “and” on each line. I like the lyrics as well, but I have a few structural thoughts! I sometimes overthink this, so take it all with a grain of salt. It feels like you have a lot of related ideas pertaining to the second coming, but they aren’t all necessarily pulling in the same direction, if that makes sense. You sort of have 3 main aspects highlighted about the return of Christ: he comes in power to defeat his foes, he comes in splendor to be worshiped, and he comes to purify/gather his people. I wonder if it would strengthen the flow of ideas to sort them more neatly into sections like this: Verse 1 - Focus on Christ coming in power to conquer his foes (especially death and sin). Potentially use the first half of your current verse 1 and pair it with the first half of your current verse 2. (Maybe they could start “When you appear in glory” and “When you appear in power”) Verse 2 - the first half can discuss Christ freeing/gathering his people, and the second half can focus on how he will be worshiped by angels/nations etc. (Maybe they could start “When you appear in mercy” and “When you appear in splendor”) Then, maybe you could re-word the first few lines of the chorus to emphasize the structure. The first line could talk about us seeing him in power, the next would be about seeing him make all things new, and then the next would be about worshiping forever. You already allude to restoration and worship in your current chorus with the lines about wiping away tears and knees bowing, so it’s not far from what you have! With all that being said, I don’t think your current text is bad by any means! I think it definitely works well as is, but it could potentially be strengthened by a clearer organization of ideas/themes.

@Keiko Ying I like these edits! I think it could still use some more polish/refinement, but I think there's some great potential. I think there's something to the idea of a song about the Spirit's consistent presence throughout our life. It might be worth considering keeping your opening stanza largely the same, but then having one stanza that focuses more on the Spirit's presence in good times (days of blessing), one stanza that focuses on hard times (shadows of unknowing), and then your final stanza could be even more focused on the Spirit leading us to the fulfillment of all things. I'm excited to see where this goes! I thought about NETTLETON too! I actually think the scansion works fine with HYFRYDOL (maybe it's a preference thing), but it doesn't necessarily have the right character for your updated text anyways. If the idea is more about joy as a quiet steadiness/confidence/satisfaction in the Lord, you might consider BEACH SPRING or something else from the folk hymn tradition! If you're writing a new melody, maybe emulate that style with a pentatonic scale and simple harmonies. There's a quiet confidence to that genre that I think suits your lyrics well. I actually don't think it needs a refrain, but I tend to be a hymn purist! Some of that depends on what context you're writing it for. Our church doesn't always connect with refrains/choruses, but I know they're really meaningful and engaging in other churches.

@Keiko Ying love the idea for this! I absolutely think you should tie Christ in to a Holy Spirit hymn. If you have been addressing the spirit directly in the preceding verses, maybe something about asking the Spirit to show us Christ / sustain us till the day we see him. I think your idea for “what delight shall overwhelm us / when we see him in the flesh” is a powerful ending! The spirit’s ultimate purpose is to point us to Christ, so ending with us seeing him in the flesh is perfect. The overall framing could be that the spirit sustains us with joy through good and bad times by pointing us to Christ until that day when he brings us fully to Christ and we know perfect joy.