One of the best ideas I picked up from Daniel Pink's 2026 video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q10H5RA3eCA, was to create a list of behaviors that no longer serve you. These are time and energy wasters and keep from from being your best self. This year, start with about 3 items....these are you "To Don't" list. Ask yourself if you stopped doing these things for 90 days, how better would your life be?

So after only reading two chapters of the Soul Injury boo I feel that I have a much better understanding of what I’ve been feeling and experiencing for the past 20+ years of my life. As I was reading, the book really resonated with me. I have PTSD for multiple reasons, one of which is finding my son‘s body after he completed suicide in 2022. I’ve gone through intensive PTSD treatment through the VA, which was very effective. I’ve suffered various traumas in my life and yet the feeling that I had was something deeper that I couldn’t explain. In the first chapter of the book, I had an “aha moment”, and realized that I was hurting at the level of my soul. When they defined the three broad categories that cause soul injury, a lightbulb lit up in my brain when I read “fear of helplessness and loss of control.“ I spent 24 years in the military, 20 of which were either as a noncommission officer or an officer where I was in charge of people, equipment and responsible for making sound fiscal choices. After retiring from the military I worked 15 years in the VA as a surgical specialty ENT PA working primary with cancer patients. I had been a PA for a total of 29 years when I retired. So looking back on 39 your career in federal service, 34 of those years were in positions where I could not be helpless and I had to be in control. At the time I didn’t realize the toll that was taking on my soul. I’m really looking forward to delving deeper into this, learning more, and healing the deep injury that has impacted my life and my relationships for decades.

🌿A “Word of the Year” isn’t a resolution with better PR. It’s a north star in your pocket—something you can reach for when life gets loud, messy, or exhausting. It’s not about perfection. It's about direction. 💡 Why one word works Goals can feel like homework. A word shows up in real life: - When you’re about to overcommit - When you’re reacting instead of responding - When you’re tempted to quit - When you’re choosing everyone else over yourself Your word becomes a simple question: “What would my word do here?” ✅ Quick Word-Picking Process (10 minutes) Grab a notebook or piece of paper. Write 3 lists: More of: Less of: Let go of: Circle what has the most emotional charge. That’s usually the doorway. Now ask: What’s the theme underneath?Overwhelm → Focus / SteadinessSelf-judgment → GraceClenching + holding on → ReleaseFeeling flat/numb → Joy / LoveFear + playing small → Ownership / Wildflower 🔥 The 3 Tests (to choose the right one) Pick your top 3 words and test them: 1) Bad-Day TestOn a hard day, does this word help… or shame you? 2) Whisper TestSay: “This year, I choose ___.”If your body softens or your eyes get spicy (teary), pay attention. 3) Behavior TestCan you name 3 actions this word would change? If not, it’s too vague. 🌸 Words already in our community Wildflower • Focus • Perseverance • Joy • Deep Breath • Embrace • Release • Grace • Ownership • Devoted • Steadiness • Peace • Tolerance • Love 👉If you’re choosing from these, try finishing one sentence: “This year, my word will help me practice ______.” 🧷 Make it REAL (not just pretty) Choose 1–2 anchors: - Put your word on your phone wallpaper - Write a daily question: “What would (WORD) do here?” - Pick one micro-ritual (ex, one deep breath before emails, meals, hard conversations) - Do a monthly reset: “Where did I live my word? Where did I drift?” A word becomes powerful when it changes tiny moments. That’s where your year is actually made. 👇 Comment below

Put the kettle on. 😉 You made it here, and that already tells me something important: you’re willing to look at the parts of life most people avoid—death, grief, aging, endings—and you’d rather not do that alone. 👥This space is for people who feel the tug of questions like: - What do I want to do with the time I have left? - How do I carry my grief and still live? - How do I prepare—practically and emotionally—so I don’t leave a mess behind? Here, we talk honestly about living and dying, love and loss, plans and paperwork, spirit and practicality. We make room for both the kettle (conversation, comfort, everyday life) and the candle (mortality, memory, sacredness of our limited time). 👉How this community works: You’ll see different programs and posts here—like 365 — A Year To Live and Advanced Care Planning—but underneath it all is the same heartbeat: - Tell the truth about life and death. - Learn together, not alone. - Take small, brave steps toward living and dying in alignment with your values. -  You are welcome to come exactly as you are: curious, scared, hopeful, tired, grieving, unsure, or all of the above. 🙌Introduce yourself (in a way that actually matters) When you’re ready, say hello in the comments below. You can answer any of these prompts—just what feels right: 1. What season of life are you in right now, in a few words? (Examples: “Midlife and re-evaluating everything,” “Fresh in grief,” “Caregiver mode,” “Aging and taking stock.”) 2. What quietly brought you to Kettle & Candle? A loss, a diagnosis, a birthday, a near-miss, a deep curiosity, a professional calling? 3. When you think about death, grief, or aging, what feeling shows up first? (No need to be poetic. “Terrified,” “numb,” “relieved to finally talk about it” all count.) 4. What is one hope you have for yourself in this space over the next year? (Big or small: “Get my paperwork started,” “Not feel so alone,” “Make peace with a part of my story,” etc.) 5. Is there a small comfort or ritual that helps you feel grounded lately? (Tea, walking, gardening, journaling, music, prayer, sitting in the sunshine…)