So excited to hear what everyone is going to share about this topic! I’m majoring in Communications and it’s been difficult to explain what I’m learning 😂. As communication is everywhere. But I thought it would be helpful to share a theoretical framework to bounce off in our conversations. Probably many of you are familiar with it but I think it’s still good to share :) There is the main communication theory which involves encoder/sender and decoder/receiver. Messages are sent through a medium/channel (face-to-face, phone, tv, social media etc.) and messages get interfered by noise (external - loud room, internal - mental distraction, and semantic - use of jargon, slang, idioms). In the case of miscommunication we need to pay attention to the medium we choose to use and most importantly being aware of various noises. But also, there is a famous saying by Canadian communication theorist McLuhan - “the medium is the message” - meaning that the choice of the medium we use will carry the message on its own. In the case of the printing press (books) the message is uniformity and continuity, because of the inherit architecture of typography and the ability to reproduce the same books. So no matter the book’s content, the book itself will carry the message that conforms society into the unified thinking and repeats cultural trends. So when we choose a medium to share our message we need to be aware of the medium’s message as well. Looking forward to the chat!

@Hank Bloomfield reading your reflective thoughts made me think of saying "change the language, change the world". For a long time I didn't read books in Russian (my native language) because I wanted to improve my English so I was reading exclusively in English for over 10 years. But recently I've started reading Russian authors whose vocabulary waaaaaay more rich than just conversational vocabulary and the meaning of many words you can't properly translate into English. Of course this occurs in all languages. So by reading Russian authors again I was able to remember meaning of many words and the manner of expressing oneself which then as you said help me to rediscover "a new sense of self and or describe my relationship to the cosmos". So I relate strongly to what you shared that through language we shape our reality. 💫

I've been telling myself that my heart is on the left-liberalism side, but for my brain this position is too idealistic, so my brain is on the pragmatic conservative right (Russian conditioning is too strong 😂) so I guess it makes me Communitist. I do like the idea of taking care and prioritizing small community and social good rather than assuming someone can successfully govern a whole nation and then complaining that they do a poor job. But of course everything in moderation.

Oh just did the test and I'm early left-liberalism, same spot as Clinton 😅

Regarding validation in relationships, I was thinking that it can be a great antidote to criticism. A while ago from a relationship psychotherapist I learned that criticism kills intimacy in relationships because you create a hostile environment for showing vulnerability, which I think is a crucial part for happy relationships. This was probably the best relationship advice I've ever gotten. And by practicing validation, often with resistance, you and your partner feel so much better, safer and happier in the relationship. Hey, I've been with my hubby 12 years together 7 of them married and this advice still does wonders 🥰

@Jeff Marr hmmm...thinking how to not overshare haha 😅 Let's say the guy got bad results with new partner with whom he has been working with. He is pissed, annoyed, frustrated with the situation. Obviously he is in a bad mood. When he would share a story of what happened - I understand that a big part of the fuck up was his fault as well, and yeah I could of give (and wanted to give) a "constructive" criticism - tell him what he should of done, how he should proceed further and etc... But this approach leads to no good. In the moment he is feeling the feelings, facts are of secondary matter. He just wants to be heard and understood (even if it's an unconscious desire). So instead, I forget about the facts and my honest blunt Russian opinion 😂 and focus on the feelings and just listen and agree (it is not easy for me). This does not mean I feed his ego and the delusion that he is right and the other guy wrong. In the moment it doesn't matter, a person feels the feeling and needs to be heard so they can process the situation at their own time and feel that someone has their back so they feel safe to be vulnerable and authentic (as @Karine Velosa mentioned). And as I've said already, to have intimacy in the relationships it needs to be a safe space where each person can be vulnerable. So the situation like I've mentioned above creates opportunities either to strengthen a safe space with validation or destroy it with "constructive" criticism. Feel free to agree or disagree, all relationships are different 😉

Adulterer. Personally can't care for his life wisdom 🤷‍♀️ But, yeah very talented and alluring speaker 👍

@Jeff Marr If a financial / wealth guru does not pay taxes I would not take their financial advice seriously. But if they were cheating in relationships I wouldn't care because it's not really related to money. But AW shares life wisdom and relationships to others is a big part of. I'm sure his action created pain for his wives and children. So if he gives people pain how can I listen to him about life....

@Jeff Marr Thanks for the promotion 🤗 I am myself in love with the question of free will because so many things in our society stem from our relationships to free will - politics, law, blame, and even what we consider leisure time! I'm doing research right now for my metaphysics class and trying to answer the question - what is better for our well-being? Free will makes us more confident, but it's more true to individualistic cultures, while some collectivistic cultures are better off with deterministic/fatalistic view of life - they show a lower rate of anxiety and a higher rate of subjective well-being. So our belief in free will is highly coloured by our cultural background. But if we downside the power of free will, we can experience less regret in life, we would blame others less and be more understanding, so less anger and frustration 🤗