We all secretly know deep down when we are broken but just don't have the energy or will power to break out. Perhaps the thought of stepping outside ourselves is too much. Maybe too many "what if's". It seems easier to stay in our asigned lane and tough it out, after all that's what everyone else does right? It's only when something knocks us sideways to such an extent that we cannot deny that we are broken and have no alternative but to reach for the "fuck it" button and pound that mother. Once you identify your reason and/or purpose, opportunities to make changes suddenly magically appear. In all truth they were always there but we weren't ready to see them. Maybe they nag at us for weeks or months but slowly and inexorably draw us to the decision point. It becomes do or die. Sadly for so many it becomes die and they quietly slip away mentally never to return until claimed by ill health and/or apathy. For a select few that are willing to open their minds, (some may say selfeshly) and reclaim what was once theirs, or start a new version of themselves that they never had, they explode into a frenzy of lets get it done. That motivation doesn't last forever as life has a habit of trying to reclaim you. Your "friends" don't see the point in you fighting what they see as your place. The only way to plot a lasting and fruitful course is to set yourself some goals, I call them "life's waypoints", those little markers that signify that you have moved forwards, hit a goal and are ready for the next. These little achievments become the catalyst for the next and so on. It becomes a routine, a non negotiable. Once you step onto that path with meaning and true intent, the deal is already as good as done. Then it needs action to make it happen. Achievment is its own motivation, you set up a converyor belt which feeds you. You can become that new version of you, you do it not only for yourself, but to be better for those around you that will become your champions. Whatever you want to call it.....purpose.......reason, it should be something that drives you and lights a fire under your ass. Once you normalise this, you will be hard pressed to go back to the old you because you, like others will treat the old you with distain.

Is there a more negative and destructive phrase that has ever been spoken. On the face of it, it sounds benine and neutral. Infact if you hear anyone use this, run far and fast away. In actual fact this is a phrase that really means "I don't care and never will". It represents a total disregard for the subject at hand and dismisses it as irrelevant. It supports a total lack of effort to even try and to accept whatever it is without examination. Of late I have heard this in two conversations and when examined it tends to come from those with a negative world view. So I run and exit the conversation as I have no room for this in my life. It most certainly isn't what it is, it needs a mind and effort. Beware!

When I was younger I had a passion for stage work which saw me take leading comedy musical roles on some very big stages. I had a drive and aptitude which gave me a clear career path in the world of entertainment. Like so many of us, life took over and the necessity to provide a stable background that kept you present as afamily man meant that I wasn't able to pursue that life. I took joy in being able to participate where ever I could and played more of a semi pro role after the kids came along. One part of performing that was my happy place was tap dancing. I was by all accounts very good but as life took it's toll and my fitness diminished, the tap shoes were put away. I still sang and fronted shows but that too slowly diminished into the past. As my fitness journey has progessed, so to has my mental strength and appetite for reclaiming my happy place. I began dabbling with dance again in terms of adapting step cardio workouts into a geriatric dance class for myself. Each week I have a Sunday self board meeting in which I go through my journal (A4 page a day) and reflect on the past week. It became clear that I wasn't happy holding myself to old promises to my old life. That old life and responsibilities have passed. This is my time. So last night I contacted an old theatre friend of mine who owns a dance academy, He was a guy that had choreographed several shows that I had been in. I've met him for a drink a few times since my fitness journey started so he knew what was happening. His reaction to my call "I wondered when you'd be calling about this". He knew that I wanted back in. He told me he had seen that old spark returning. Without me giving a great deal away he simply said "Lets get you down to the studio tomorrow and get you started". When the genuine desire returns, opportunites present themselves. So...........reclaim your happy place, it may be something in the past that has lurked in the back of your mind. Maybe you think you're not capeable anymore, to that I say BULL SHIT! Life is too full of cudda, shudda wudda moments. As Yoda says "There is no try in do". Go grab your happy place and reclaim it, not tomorrow....TODAY!

Afternoon all and thanks for listening. I'm having a difficult time at the moment, and it's down to guilt. My wife and I have been together for 19 years, married for 9. Before I go any further, I haven't cheated on her or anything like that. My wife has always had some social anxiety as long as I have known her, but she was able to have a active social life by convincing herself to get over it. However like many people during lockdown she had a lot of time on her own as I was still working and we weren't allowed to go out. It was during this time she started to realise that it wasn't just social anxiety, it was something more. After three years of waiting and lots of crying she finally got some help, it turns out she has ADHD and autism, actually it's called AUDHD. If you know anything about this subject you'll know that once someone has unmasked and realised that their are reasons to why she feels the way she does, it impossible for some to pretend that they don't have issues and to be honest why should they pretend to be someone they aren't. I've given a very oversimplified version of what has happened to her. As a result of my wife's realisation of her problems she stopped going out or at least didn't take it up again after lockdown. My wife's so called friends didn't much care for the fact that she no longer wanted to be going out and getting drunk with them, so they all stopped talking to her, their was a group of six of them that were all meant to be close, but they just dumped her. This obviously devastated her and she still cries about it many years on. I am still friends with many of the girls partners, but I can't talk to them about the situation because they are obviously to close to it. I did try to patch things up with my wife and the girls, but it didn't work and to be honest they don't deserve my wife as a friend if they are so willing to dump her the way they did. The fact that I still see the lads is one reason I feel guilty but not the only one.

Morning gents, here's an issue im kinda struggling with and wondering if any of you guys have experienced anything similar. In 2024 I retired from the Police service after 20+ years service. In 2023 I had been diagnosed and treated for prostate cancer and my mindset was it was time to get out and enjoy some life with my wife and family. The maths all worked out so I made the desicion to retire from the service at 56 years old. At first the novelty was great, I joined the everyman project, lost a load of weight, increased my fitness levels and generally felt much better than I had in years. I left the project just before Christmas ( it was just a financial drain after 8 months ) and if im honest i'd kinda got used to having the group around, the zoom calls, the accountability with the coaches and the general craic from being part of the group. Problem is is that now I'm kinda isolated, wife's at work all day and my family is 150 miles away. I have plenty of hobbies, photography, motorcycling etc.. but im feeling a bit lost and im starting to lock myself away in the house, not going out . I can go a week or more without speaking to a soul during the day, I know its winter and the weather in Wales where I live can be restrictive but its more than that, its almost a confidence thing where I struggle to get out on my own. It's really starting to affect my mindset, my training suffers and im generally starting to feel flat and unmotivated. Im determined to find some kind of solution before I tip over the edge into self pity and depression which is all to easy to do. Sorry for the ramble, I'd appreciate everyone's thoughts and tactics to tackle this is you've experienced anything similar Cheers Steve