Hi Team, My Mother-In-Law passed away this morning. So things will be a little crazy for us the next couple weeks to months. That being said I will see you all Saturday morning!

Trying something here from what we learned in "Prayer" last week, about meditating on scripture and praying about it. These verse hit me: Scripture on How Christians Should Deal with Fear 1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." For me, sometimes what looks like resentment on the surface is really entitlement and fear underneath. “I’m done with that guy. He should've had my back.” “I don’t need them, I gave more to the friendship than they did anyway.” “I pay every single bill around here. How about a little gratitude?” Those can all be a defense. It’s often easier to feel angry than to admit, “I’m afraid of being found out… again,” or “I’m scared I don’t measure up,” or “I’m terrified of losing control.” Resentment becomes a mask that keeps me from naming the real issues: Entitlement &Fear. And as long as fear hides behind irritation, sarcasm, or cold distance, it's a little easier to not have to surrendered it to Jesus. For me at least, resentment became a well worn path & dopamine hit. I actually felt better after getting a little angry about something. As men who want to be forged in Christ, I think we’re not called to stay numb and guarded. We’re called to courage, to bring our fear into the light, confess it honestly, and let the Lord meet us there instead of hiding behind a hard edge. I’ll share a personal story below, and I’d like to hear your thoughts: One of my bosses came into town and wanted to go paint the town that night. We did, and while she was lit up she said something that really ticked me off, and I called her a name that makes me cringe even thinking about it. 4 months later the head attorney of the very large Pharma company I worked for at the time, called me and said "Show's over, buddy." (I'm paraphrasing). This was in January 2020 two weeks before a little bug out of China hit the world stage. I was seething with resentment for months and the entire time I didn't even consider my part in it, ultimately I was responsible for what happened and my deepest fears had come true.