Month 1 / Week 4 • Know Yourself We had a real one on Wednesdays call. We talked about something most of us have lived but rarely say out loud — that we chase chemistry instead of safety. We feel that pull with someone. Everything moves fast. It feels electric. And somewhere underneath it we know something is off — but we don’t listen. Because our brain is already in it. The what ifs. The stories we tell ourselves. The hope that this one might be different. And the other person? They usually showed us exactly who they were from the very beginning. We just didn’t want to see it. We can’t blame them for that. We can only look at why we keep choosing the roller coaster over the calm. Finding the right partner deserves the same care and intention you’d give any important decision in your life. Think of it like hiring a CEO for your own company — you wouldn’t offer the job after one conversation. You’d take your time. Ask the hard questions. Make sure they’re worth it. Yet somehow with love we skip all the steps. Safety isn’t boring. Safety is the foundation everything else is built on. That’s what we talked about today. Every Monday 6PM PDT and Wednesday 11AM PDT Come as you are.

Hi, I'm Pete. 77, an old sailor, retired and currently in Panama with my boat, Caroline.

In July 2021, I was detained by police officers for practising homosexuality. I believed my future had ended and that my parents would be left with only shame. The officers offered to release me in exchange for a bribe. I had no money. No hope. My only possession was my phone, I handed it over. Under my country's law, Section ***, homosexuality carries a penalty of death or up to 30 years imprisonment. I could not risk either outcome. I consider myself fortunate that it was police officers and not religious vigilantes who detained me. The latter have been known to use lethal violence that I can not imagine to myself. This transaction — exchanging personal property for safety — is a common survival strategy for gay men in my community, but not everyone is lucky enough, I was lucky enough. I did take down my profile picture and alter my name for safety.