My third daughter called me two and half years ago to say she could not talk to me for awhile. She had moved across the country three years prior without telling me until she was moved. A bit before she moved (when we were talking) she gave me a partially constructed t-shirt quilt top, asking me to finish it for her. I have the opportunity now, with a focused two-week support, to resurrect the project and make it for her and perhaps send it to her in the fall at her birthday. For all messages at holidays and birthdays I send a love message and hear nothing back. The same thing has happened when I messaged the other day if she was still interested in having the t-shirt quilt completed. (Ah, I mailed a birthday give last fall to the address I was given and it was returned because the address was not correct.) The estrangement is of course not because of the quilt. The quilt is something I can now do for her. Ohh, and she is engaged to be married sometime this year. I only know her fiancé’s first name and nothing else. How does one work with such a hard and firm wall? Rhetorical question perhaps~

Background: First daughter (39) single- no children: After official estrangement in 2021, we are building trust in our relationship as I have been keeping her cat since May 2025. (lives a state away) I am thankful for the turn of events. Second daughter (38) married - no children: There has been no official statement of estrangement. (lives a state away) She is going through a difficult divorce since June. I support long-distance via simple messages and hear nothing back. Third daughter (37) single - no children: We are officially estranged since December 2023. (lives across the country) January 2025 she messaged me she was engaged and only told me the gentleman’s first name. She said they would have the ceremony ‘next year,’ which puts it in 2026. I sent a text last evening with the following words: “Good evening, I am curious about wedding plans possibly happening this year. I would to love to attend and thus make plans to be there. With love and support, Mom” I was a single parent for 11 years after a 10 year marriage to their father. He was emotionally abusive and then other abuse toward them after the divorce. I remarried to a good man whom they were fond of When he passed in 2014, while they were in their late twenties, in hindsight, things began to change as a whole. Then, during the pandemic each began to distance in individual ways and timings. The point of my post: I am currently in the middle of module 2 and journaling as I begin the program. While waiting for a response from the third daughter, whom is engaged, about the possible wedding date, I am shaky at work. All kinds of thoughts of how I failed as a parent are swirling in my head. I request. . . suggestions on ways to keep my nervous system regulated to not be anxious and shaky at work, and to be productive at home and not in bed or on the couch. Thank you~

I’m having a pity party. I am trying to pull myself out of it. I saw on a social media post of my silent second daughter a reference to attending a wedding next month of a member of a ‘chosen family.’ Those words stung deeply. Feelings of unworthiness, rejection, and loss are heightened.

Everyone, please help me give a warm welcome to @Patti Morgan as she joins our community. Patti has such a huge heart, and I am so excited to welcome her into this space. 💛 We’re so glad you’re here, Patti. Take your time exploring, connecting, and growing with us along the way. Community — drop a little love and help Patti feel right at home. 👇 Glad you’re here, Patti!

Seems about right ... https://www.facebook.com/share/r/18GARV5bKE/?mibextid=wwXIfr