After she received her last rites, the nurse came in and told us my daughter was in distress. She asked if we wanted them to do anything. I said, no just let her be. I told my daughter, “It’s ok. Mamí’s here! You can go now. I Love You! 💛 We felt that was the best thing for our daughter. As sad as it was, we couldn’t see her suffer anymore. The worst thing was when her six year old told me, “Please don’t put my mommy in the ground.” I explained to him that his mommy was no longer in her body. That she was now in heaven. That eased his mind. Everyone started to leave. Her fiancee and I were left to be with her. We talked about her and knew she was at peace. As I was ready to leave, he wanted to stay longer with her, his final goodbye. As I left her room, I received a call from the organ donation. She was an organ donor, one thing she was sure of, she wanted to be. The person on the phone asked me about skin for burn victims. I agreed as well. Went home and cried my eyes out.

Some will never understand 😢

After hearing those “code blues”, I got on my phone. They didn’t want me to call anyone. But, there was person I HAD TO CALL. I called Holy Family Church. I got an answering machine. I left my message for a priest. A few minutes later, they called back and said I was lucky because no one usually answers. The priest arrived and was sent to her room to give her the sacrament for the sick. My poor baby was trying so hard to stay. The doctor came and said that my baby could not continuing being shocked so many times. We made the decision to stop. She had already coded seven times. Another very HARD decision to make. Now came the task of calling my son to get to the hospital. It was time to say goodbye. I called my other two sons as well. The first one didn’t answer. The second did and I told him I would put the phone to her ear. He had to say goodbye like that. We all gathered around my daughter and the priest came in and gave her, her last rites. 📿

Some people just don’t understand….. I pray that they never do! It’s hard as it is already.

Here we are, ready to leave Germany. My husband had to stay behind to have our things move to our new duty station. My baby and I were sent in a military plane with no windows. This was only the second time I had flown on a plane and my baby's first. I was able to breast feed my baby, but again, not for long. Til this day, I don't even remembering eating during the long flight. We arrived at Walter Reed Medical Center. My baby was rushed to the ICU to get her settled in. On July 21st, she went in to have her surgery. This was my mom's birthday and our eldest son's birthday. I remember my parents being there. I held my dad so tight and didn't want to let go. Then, it was my mom's turn. The tears seemed to go on forever. The wait was the worst part. My husband soon joined us. Several hours later, Dr. Lee came out and told us she was doing well. Dr. Lee had put in a shunt, so that, her blue blood and red blood would not mix. We could see her real soon. Tears flowed and scary shivers all at once. She was still so tiny. We were able to hold her for a little bit. I breast fed her and pumped milk for her for the night time. We would go and rest to then go back each morning to see her. I was there so early in the mornings that, her nurse said I should be her nurse. I was there before the morning shift came. While she was there, I brought her a Panda 🐼 bear. The tag said Mother’s Love. This panda would become the name of my day care. When we were finally able to take her home, it was such a great feeling. Our new duty station was Maryland.