Perhaps because of the holidays, I have noticed an unusually high number of people seeking help due to break ups. I make this post to help anyone going through this. The difficulty letting go is due to grief from the persons absence. The five stages take time. That's something we don't like to hear. We want to get through it fast. Often, people decide that they are "already" in stage 3 or 4. This is not a 12 step program we choose to work, but the human process by which we recover. Usually, when people decide they are already further along, that's just part of denial. Denying the pain and denying it takes time. Sometimes, people will say, "I must be in step 3 or 4 because I'm not mad at my ex." The missing person is not always the target of the anger stage. It can be other people, self, life, even God by whatever name. With time and self discernment, we move through the grief. Only then can we move to letting go.