I've built up a good barrier around anger, and that emotion gets an outward projection the most I feel. Mostly towards the customers I interact with at work. Saturday is always such a busy day for me, limited staffing... But this Saturday in particular I felt targeted, I felt like a victim, and I felt like I was going to come unglued I was so busy. Then what happens? I step in dog droppings (aka landmines) at a customers house, who was incredibly rude, I could have had smoke coming out of my ears and I wouldn't have been surprised. I brought all that emotion home with me, I was not embodied at all, short fused, and just being a jerk. So I've spent the last 3 nights when the house is quiet meditating, listening, witnessing. I've had enough of being short tempered and an asshole. I found where this anger lives finally, my shoulders and it feels like lightning bolts shooting through my hands! Like jolts of electricity. I used meditation 1, I've used it in the past as well. But something stuck out. Draw from the last time you were triggered to help bring up the emotion, and then drop the story and hold onto the emotion. Worked beautifully! I'm 3 days into this release of anger and I feel more comfortable and confident witnessing it. Cheers

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We're kicking off a new PM meeting for people in the US. Which timeslot works best? @Mike Atkinson @Andy Chick @Mariangeles Chinelatto @Michael Olague-Llamas @Ryan Pinto @Andrew Rotter

Lately as some of you have heard me on the calls I've been having some difficulties getting embodied and witnessing. I'd say these emotions were tricking me, I was attaching! Confused, scared, no confidence. Inner dialogue was confused, doubtful, and I was attaching to all of it. I had a realization during todays session, got deep down into what I think was a pivotal moment for me. I saw an embarrassed Nick, 5th grade, doing a pretend job interview as part of a class assignment. There were kids parents on campus holding interviews and I chose a construction worker career path because I thought that was the easy way out, no education needed, not much thought or homework required... I thought I would skate through it, and of course I didn't. I didn't even get the job, I failed the assignment! All these emotions set in, and I felt defeated for a long time after that, "I'm not smart enough for college. Oh that requires a degree? I'll pass. I'm too lazy. I should've repeated grade school, my parents are always so frustrated when I ask for help. I shouldn't need this much help." I had dropped the dreams, the intuition, and I watched from the outside. Look at everyone around me so driven, continued education with degrees, I'll just work an easy job that I can tolerate and let my free time be my life, "work to live not live to work". I have settled for far too long! Here's a quote from Pink Floyd, I use to be on the side of the coin that felt that too much time had passed, and that I was too late. Never in my life did I think I would be where I am today. I settled, gave up on too much and tried to absolutely burry that feeling of being too stupid or lazy, distracted or incapable. But I'm feeling reborn at 34, and in control. Time " You are young and life is long, and there is time to kill today. And then one day you find ten years have got behind you. No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun".

I was reminded of this quote when @NickValdovinos was sharing his story. “It's quite funny how for the first few years, bamboo grows so slowly you might think it's died. While all the other plants sprout and grow and flower, and even bear fruit, the bamboo remains almost completely underground, humble and unremarkable. But all those years it spends in the ground aren't wasted... While the other plants grow upward, the bamboo spreads its roots deep and wide in the soil, until one day, the roots have all grown. Then the bamboo shoots upward faster than anyone could have imagined.” — You Yeong-Gwang, The Rainfall Market