It’s a wet Thursday night in South Florida, and you respond to a domestic violence call. A 40-year-old male lies on the floor with blood coming from his left eye. He explains that his wife threw a beer bottle at him after he blew his last $10 on the Hard Rock app, betting the Dolphins to beat the Bills. You see a shiny shard of glass sticking out of his eye. What’s your best move? A. Yank the glass out like you’re pulling the sword from the stone, and hope for a Disney ending. B. Leave the glass in place, stabilize it with a bulky dressing, and transport while resisting the urge to say “Go Bills.” C. Tell him this is what happens when you bet against Josh Allen, then call ophthalmology for a consult on scene. D. Cover both eyes, reassure him, and secretly check the point spread for next week’s game.