It’s a wet Thursday night in South Florida, and you respond to a domestic violence call. A 40-year-old male lies on the floor with blood coming from his left eye. He explains that his wife threw a beer bottle at him after he blew his last $10 on the Hard Rock app, betting the Dolphins to beat the Bills. You see a shiny shard of glass sticking out of his eye. What’s your best move? A. Yank the glass out like you’re pulling the sword from the stone, and hope for a Disney ending. B. Leave the glass in place, stabilize it with a bulky dressing, and transport while resisting the urge to say “Go Bills.” C. Tell him this is what happens when you bet against Josh Allen, then call ophthalmology for a consult on scene. D. Cover both eyes, reassure him, and secretly check the point spread for next week’s game.

Football Sunday folks! You and the crew are getting ready for the game with your bets set when you get called to a guy down for the count at a family party. The brother says they were playing football when the Pt was tackled and never got back up. The lung sounds are clear with the monitor showing asystole. Your partner has already started CPR. What happened?

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