Did you know we create fear inside ourselves? Fear is often disguised as concern. Or care. Or superimposed over love. Fear generates inside us when we perceive a threat. When we don’t perceive a threat, fear will not generate. To the extent we learn to redefine threats as opportunities is the amount we reduce our creation of fear.

We have entered a time where men are finding their true voice: Learning how to articulate their thoughts and feelings with clarity, without being passive aggressive, or having a graduate degree from the “It’s nothing, I’m fine” academy. To do so, we must learn emotional and communication skills that go beyond single syllable sounds and grunts or passive aggressive teenage frustration. This level of clarity and communication, in sincerity, even though it’s uncomfortable, builds the foundation of authentic relationships (in our homes and outside them). It stabilizes our home, our marriages, and children. It takes off the masks we’ve tended to wear. And invites others to do same with us. But it requires active commitment, stimulating our brain instead of atrophying it, exploring disciplines that light us up. Being men who are capable of bringing more than a paycheck to our homes. More than complaints about the weather, traffic, or the game we just watched. More than surface level survival mode. It requires courage to tell the truth when we feel scared instead of pretending like we’re invincible. For us to turn difficulties into opportunities, failures into lessons, mistakes into experience. Without regrets, without excuses, without the annoying tendency to look for scapegoats outside of ourselves. To engage self-control and letting go of the illusion of controlling others. To listen without fixing, to see beneath the behavior, in ourselves and our family members. To come in contact with who we really are and in turn, with those we love. To protect our family because we’re connected to them. To leave something in our children, not just for them. To show our sons who to be and our daughters who to look for. To nourish them with the fruit of the Spirit, to model to them the husband and father Jesus models to us. As we find our true voice, we carry and project a signal that cuts through the noise of earth, and silences any whisper of the enemy. It’s what our families and all creation grown for.

We just finished a course called The Emotionally Skilled Marriage…why? Because God wants our marriages so healthy that our kids look at us and think, “this is what I want when I grow up”. Natasha joined me for this live and shares her story of what this class did for her marriage and kids. We start another course on Feb 2nd. For details and to join, CLICK HERE

Confidence in a family is not about always appearing strong. True confidence allows vulnerability from the members of our family, as well as from ourselves. Spouses and parents who admit mistakes, acknowledge challenges, and ask for input do not lose authority; they gain it. Vulnerability signals authenticity, authenticity builds trust... And trust is the currency of family.

Unprocessed emotions (psychologically) will drain our body of energy (physiologically). Processing those emotions (psychologically) gives us that energy back (physiologically). Sometimes the reason we’re so tired is because we haven’t talked.