We all do way too much criticizing (speaking to the men here). What if we took a different approach? The “I’m looking in a mirror approach”? When a husband sees something he doesn’t like in his wife, a good question to ask himself is, “where is this also happening with me?” Whenever we see a speck in our wife’s eye, it’s good to check our own for a log. I bet this one change would alter marriages on a level that could only be considered miraculous. Men, have you tried this for a week and seen any change? Women, what do you think would happen in you if your husband tried this for a week? (The same is true for our children)

Criticize the other spouse (complaining with blame). Answering this poll and adding comments will help you get to level 5 to then be entered to win $1000 off my upcoming course.

Instead of saying “I’m stressed”, say “my body is preparing me to rise from this challenge”. This reframes stress into energy, turning cortisol into courage. Instead of saying “I have to do this”, say “I get to do this”. This shifts the brain from pressure to gratitude, increasing motivation. Instead of saying “I’ll try”, say “I commit”. Try signals doubt, commit programs the subconscious for a follow through. Instead of saying “I’m bad at this”, say “I’m still learning this”. Your brain loves growth, and this rewires failure into progress. Instead of saying “I don’t have time”, say “it’s not my priority”. This exposes what you truly value. Instead of saying “that’s just who I am”, say “that’s who I’ve been and who I was, not who I must stay”. Sense of self is flexible, and this creates mental freedom to continue agreeing with who God says you actually are. Instead of saying “this always happens to me”, say “what can I learn from it this time?” This stops victimhood and activates problem solving mode. Instead of saying “I don’t know”, say “I don’t know yet”. Yet brings in a growth mindset, empowering the brain to search for answers. Instead of saying “I’m nervous”, say “the Holy Spirit in me is excited”. The brain cannot tell the difference, you decide the framing. Instead of saying “it’s impossible”, say “it hasn’t been done by me yet”. This opens possibility and dissolves mental barriers. Instead of saying “I can’t do this”, say “how can I do this?” Asking questions activates problem solving circuits. Instead of saying “I failed”, say “I’ve discovered one way it doesn’t work”. This resets failure into data. Instead of saying “I’m stuck”, say “I’m pausing to reset”. This turns paralysis into preparation, reducing anxiety. Instead of saying “they’re lucky”, say “they created opportunities”. This shifts envy into responsibility and empowerment. Instead of saying “I wish”, say “I will”. Wish signals helplessness, will directs action. Instead of saying “I’m overwhelmed”, say “I’m prioritizing”.

The more “money” in the account, the easier the withdrawals feel. The less “money” in the account, the harder they feel. You want to have about 20 deposits for every 1 withdrawal. You also want to learn what you do for your family that feels like a $5 deposit or a $20 deposit.

Disguise. Too many attempt to conceal their actual thoughts from themselves and others. And unfortunately, there’s rarely a better way to do so than to be a visible form of Christian. It gives the illusion to ourselves and others that we may be better than we actually are. When disguised, it merely perpetuates self-righteousness and religiosity. It prevents us from truly feeling loved, because the disguise takes it all and we get none of it. In other words, evil uses disguises to keep us from the love we all so desperately need.