I’m cookin’ yall! Weekly Bite Wednesday, Nov 20 · 1–1:30 PM Google Meet joining info Video call link: https://meet.google.com/ayv-cdxy-xpx

This past week has held so many brutal reminders and challenges to lean FURTHER into self-care. And this is after seeing my couples counselor, therapist, masseur, and personal coach. Here and I thought I was setting a bar. How’s that for hubris? So on top of getting back into my journal and continuing to prepare my own food, I’m here to share my breaky and ask you all for examples of what you did or will do today to take care of you and show you how much you love yourself. The meal this morning was cottage cheese omelet and hash brown with half an avocado, spinach, onions, red bell pepper, jalapeño, and green onion. Not only did I enjoy the effort and outcome, I enjoy being able to give AND receive this gift from myself. I’m grateful to me for the gift of this delicious bite. Awwww! I’m welcome!

Bite w/ Me!

I just told my ex-wife that I love her. This is after explaining to her that I want her to talk to me the way that honors who she thinks I can be and not who I was. I got emotional and I could tell she did too, but we said our goodbyes and I feel good about our dynamic. ‘The best things in life are on the other side of a difficult conversation’ I’m celebrating right now that I found the courage the presence of mind, the faith in myself, the curiosity to establish my boundaries, reinforce them, and speak my heart. Why did this conversation feel different from all the others where the results were… less positive? I let go of the outcome. This time, I told myself, ‘I’m saying this, no matter how she responds. I’m doing it for me, not for her.’ So, what about you? Where can you step into a little more courage, a little more clarity? What difficult conversation are you avoiding that’s taking up too much of your energy? The best things in life really are on the other side of a tough conversation. How can I help you get there?

I was pondering a minute ago (shower thought) about why the focus for this community must be self-care. True, intentional, iterative self-care. It is because we have become acclimated to the toxic environments around us. And when I say, toxic environments, it could be an actual geographic place, but more often is a person or grouping or dynamic that is toxic no matter where I am physically. It could be an organization that I work with. And without the brand of self-care that we’re exploring in this community, I can’t know if when I feel icky if it’s me or the situation (a.k.a. Environment). I cannot differentiate the ‘good’ from the ‘bad’ from the ‘worse’ from the ‘worst’ because I am not in tune with myself enough to a) know that I am not the cause of the yuck, or b) know that I am worthy of feeling good and supported and safe All the Time. Always. Example- This will resonate with some of you. I restrict my engagement with my mother. She won’t mean to, but she’ll say something hurtful and send me reeling: activated, anxious, hurt. The time recently that we were driving and I shared that I was getting divorced from my kids’ mother this past spring. My mother without hesitation and having known a lot of the precipitating events shot back, “What did you do?” No. I don’t deserve that. I won’t accept that. And I don’t. I explained as much in a serious and grounded tone (I’d been working on me, so I could find that in the moment). So I see her when I am ready, and that’s how I still have her in my life. Tell me how that sits with you, please. Where do you say ‘yes’ to yourself by saying ‘no’ to an unhealthy environment?