I don't want my sister in law to see this on line, so I'm going to both rant here and invite other people's experiences. In the last 4 years I've either been not invited to, or my wife has been invited but I haven't or men were not very present at Baby showers: Our babyshower: 4 guys, 30 women best man baby shower: not invited, but a bunch of our wives were Alyssa's brides maid: sister- in-law: Alyssa invited, no men invited really good friend: not invited our sprinkle for twins: I had to convince my mother in law and aunt in law to invite the men and boy cousins not just the women sister- in-law: Alyssa invited, no men invited This event feels like such a tone-setter for how the mental load and cognitive and emotional labor will be owned in the relationship. I think that if we want there to be less of a ton of bricks change in mental load ownership upon the children arriving, we need to include and do the emotional labor of having men be a part of these events. All of the items that show up for THE BABY, not the mom, that both parents will likely be using, become owned my mom because of the context they are given. Would love some thoughts on how your showers went/how it impacted the way you saw your fatherhood