For the person living with dementia, they may experience a changing tolerance for things that we normally don't have reactions to, such as: noise , clutter , shadows , glare, unfamiliar spaces, too many choices, poor contrast, temperature , competing conversations and even confusing layouts Sometimes what looks like a behavior problem is an environmental challenge.

So Friday’s challenge is: Choose one recurring care task and ask: what need can I protect while we do this? Here are some examples of the need and possible solutions - Competence: let them do the part they can still do - Predictability: use the same order, same words, same time when possible - Safety: slow down, reduce rushing, improve footing or lighting - Identity: respect clothing, grooming, routines, preferences - Emotional security: reassure first, task second I know that you, the compassionate caregiver would like to maintain your loved one's dignity and independence, gentle reminder...Success is not just getting the task done. Success is getting through the task with as much dignity, safety, and connection as possible.

Change one expectation that is harder than it needs to be. For example: ( and there are many) You don't need to attend all family gatherings or events. The challenge: ask yourself, is this something I really need to do? Or am I doing it because that's the way it's alwaysbeen done?

Before deciding how you might TRY harder, notice, what was happening right before this difficult moment for YOU. You might find that the day at work was more stressful and time pressing, the family is waiting impatiently for dinner, you've had to wrangle dad to come sit at the table. Now we're looking at the whole system, your loved one and You. Sometimes the clue isn't only the person living with dementia

In today's episode we address the often ignored or overlooked trauma of caregiving for someone living with dementia. Here's the 4 questions we addressed today. Check the calendar for times/dates. When we talk about dementia caregiving as “traumatic,” what do we really mean? One of the things caregivers often describe is feeling guilty—even when they are doing everything they possibly can. Why is guilt so common? What makes dementia caregiving different from many other kinds of caregiving? If you could say one thing directly to the family caregiver who is listening tonight and feels completely overwhelmed, what would you want them to hear? Please join us next time 'live' if you have particular questions or issues you'd like us to address.