You didn’t expect to be the only one showing up. But somewhere along the way, the calls slowed down, the help became less consistent, and the responsibility quietly settled on your shoulders. When dementia enters a family, it doesn’t just change one relationship.It reshapes the entire family system. And one of the most painful shifts caregivers experience, is this: Siblings who were previously in your face about every little thing, begin to step back. Calls and visits become less frequent. Decisions fall to you. Support becomes inconsistent or disappears altogether. If this has happened in your family, it can feel confusing, frustrating, and deeply personal. But here is something important to understand: In many cases, siblings don’t withdraw because they don’t care. They withdraw because they don’t know how to stay. Why Siblings Pull Away There are patterns we see again and again in caregiving families. Understanding these patterns can bring clarity and, in some cases, a bit of relief. Overwhelm Dementia caregiving is not intuitive. There are so many moving parts to the equation of dementia including: - medical understanding of the syndrome called dementia - emotional regulation of yourself and your loved one - constant decision making on things you may never have had to address previously - managing behaviors like sadness, grief, anger, frustration, confusion, agitation For someone who is not in the day-to-day role, this can feel overwhelming from the outside. So instead of stepping in imperfectly, they step back entirely. Not because they don’t care. Because they feel unprepared. Emotional Protection Watching a parent or loved one decline is painful. Some siblings cope by staying close. Others cope by creating distance. It’s not uncommon to avoid by - staying busy - minimizing the situation - not engaging in difficult conversations - This is not always a conscious choice. It is often a form of emotional self-protection.

🍀🍀🍀Happy St. Patrick's Day!🍀🍀🍀 Small holidays have a way of reminding us how life has changed. Days like St. Patrick’s Day used to be simple. Maybe you wore something green, shared a meal with friends, or enjoyed a lighthearted moment together. It might not have been a major celebration, but it still felt like a small pause in the rhythm of life. When you are caring for someone living with dementia, even the small holidays can feel different. Sometimes the day passes quietly because caregiving responsibilities take center stage. The routine of medications, meals, appointments, or simply keeping your loved one comfortable may leave little room for celebration. Other times, you may try to bring a small touch of the holiday into the day. Perhaps it is playing a familiar Irish song, sharing a favorite meal, or simply acknowledging the date on the calendar. Caregiving often reshapes how we mark time. What once felt like celebration may now feel like connection in smaller ways. A quiet moment of laughter. A shared memory. Sitting together with a cup of tea. These moments may not look like the holidays you remember, but they still carry meaning. In many ways, caregiving teaches us that the value of a day is not always in how much we celebrate it, but in how we show up for one another within it. If today looks different than it once did, that is part of the caregiving journey many of us share. And sometimes, those quiet moments of presence become the most meaningful part of the day. Reflection for our community How do small holidays look in your home now compared to a few years ago? Sometimes sharing our experiences reminds others that they are not alone in this journey. The information provided by Dementia Caregivers Collective is educational and supportive in nature and is not intended as medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional regarding medical decisions.

Last Tuesday, a woman in our community told me something I have heard hundreds of times before. “I wake up already behind.” Before her feet hit the floor, she is thinking about medications, breakfast resistance, the appointment she has to reschedule, the email she forgot to answer, and the quiet fear in the back of her mind that something else will decline today. Nothing dramatic happened. No emergency. No hospitalization. Just the steady, grinding weight of responsibility. If you are caring for someone living with dementia, you are all too familiar with this feeling. It is not chaos in one explosive moment. It is the slow erosion of certainty. And here is the truth no one tells you: Most caregivers are not failing. They are operating without a stabilization plan. When everything feels like it is falling apart, what you actually need is not more information. You need focus. This is where the 90 Day Stability Plan begins. Why 90 Days? Because dementia progression feels unpredictable. But your response does not have to be. Ninety days gives you enough time to: - Stabilize safety risks - Initiate and simplify routines - Organize documentation - Reduce reactive decision making - Regain a sense of control You cannot fix dementia. But you can stabilize your environment. And stability changes everything. The Three Pillars of Stability For the next 90 days, you focus on only three pillars. Not twenty. Not everything. Three!!! Pillar 1: Safety First, Always When overwhelm rises, safety must become your filter for every decision. Ask yourself: - Is the environment in the home physically safe? - Are medications organized clearly and accurately and out of reach? - Is a possible wandering risk addressed? - Are emergency numbers accessible?