Earlier this week, we talked about the physical toll of dementia caregiving. On Wednesday, I asked you to become a Curious Observer of your own body: Where does the strain show up? When does it happen? And what caregiving task seems to come with it? Today, we are going to do something with that information. Your One Change Challenge is: Choose one caregiving task that is physically costing you too much and change one part of how it gets done. Notice I did not say: “Try to get more rest afterward.” Or: “Take better care of yourself.” Those things matter. But sometimes the better question is: Why is this task taking so much out of my body in the first place? Getting through the daily routines of helping someone out of bed requires reaching over their body to help lift them and potentially putting yourself in a position to strain your back or shoulders. Likewise, bathing could mean bending over a bathtub for twenty minutes, or standing outside the shower to assist with good washing techniques. Sometimes you might make six trips across the house gathering supplies because nothing is where you need it. You are physically supporting someone during dressing when they could be sitting. You are doing a transfer by yourself that really requires another person or different equipment such as a transfer aide. Today, I want you to pick ONE. What part of this task is costing me the most physically? And: Can I change the task instead of simply asking my body to tolerate more? That change might be: - moving supplies where you actually use them - having the person SIT for dressing, grooming or even toileting (for you men) - changing the setup of the bathroom - using appropriate adaptive or mobility equipment ( shower chairs, transfer aides, grab bars, antislip grips - asking another person to assist with a physically demanding task - changing WHEN the task happens - breaking the task into SMALLER PARTS - letting the person do the pieces they can still safely do - asking an OT, PT, nurse, or other qualified professional to assess a transfer or care task that no longer feels safe

Core Concept for today: What looks like several unrelated problems may actually be signs that the whole caregiving system is under strain. In isolation these may be handled and addressed individually, but when taken in combinations it's time to make adjustments to the system. You may notice any or all of these: - an increasing number of falls - poor sleep, waking frequently, changing days for nights - missed medications - increasing confusion or disorientation - caregiver exhaustion - more arguments, resistance behaviors - you're spending less time away from the house - daily routines are becoming harder to maintain Sometimes the problem is not one behavior. It is that the whole system has less margin than it used to. What seems to be getting harder in more than one area at the same time? Take one thing from today, try it, and pay attention to what changes.

Sorry, tech issues, no video today. We spend a lot of time watching for changes in the person living with dementia. But today I want to turn that Curious Observer lens around. What is happening in your body? Because your body may be giving you information about the caregiving situation before you are ready to say, “This is becoming too much.” I bet you can already think of examples of changes in your body: -your shoulders are always tight and seem to be hovering up around your ears -your back hurts after a particular care task -you find yourself waking up several times a night even when your loved one is sleeping -your stomach is in knots and upset -increasing frequency of headaches -you notice that you are holding your breath during transfers, bathing, or difficult conversations -Or you are so tired by late afternoon that every small problem feels enormous. Those are not just annoyances. They are clues. And just like we look for patterns in the person living with dementia, we can look for patterns in the caregiver too. Ask yourself: When does my body feel the strain most? When I am trying to manage several things at once? When I am worried something might happen if I leave the room? What am I doing during those moments that is costing my body the most? One of the biggest mistakes caregivers make is assuming that the only solution is to become stronger, more patient, or more resilient. Though it may be true as the challenges increase, it's not the only solution, sometimes the task itself needs to change. So this week, I'm sure you'll notice that you are tired, dig a little deeper, notice the pattern. Where in your body does the strain show up? What tasks are you performing that triggers the strain? Your body is part of the caregiving system. It deserves to be observed too. What physical signal shows up first when caregiving is becoming too much for your body?

This weekend, we turned our clocks back an hour. For most of us, that's a minor inconvenience. But for someone living with dementia, that shift can affect sleep, routines, orientation, and behavior. Here are six things I'd encourage caregivers to watch for and a few simple adjustments that may help. Six things to know and do 1. Earlier darkness may increase confusion. Some people experience increased restlessness, anxiety, or disorientation as daylight fades, often called sundowning. Turn lights on before the room becomes dim, rather than waiting until it's dark. 2. Their internal clock doesn't automatically reset. Someone accustomed to eating at 5 p.m. may be hungry at 4 p.m. after the change. Watch their cues instead of insisting on the new clock time. 3. Sleep patterns may shift. Earlier waking, daytime fatigue, or increased nighttime activity can occur. Preserve familiar bedtime routines, provide morning daylight, and avoid unnecessarily long late-day naps. 4. Plan activities around their best time of day. If late afternoons are already difficult, move appointments, bathing, errands, and other demanding tasks earlier when possible. 5. Be attentive to safety as darkness arrives earlier. Shadows can affect perception, and poor lighting can increase disorientation and fall risks. Check hallways, bathrooms, stairs, and frequently traveled routes. Use nightlights where appropriate. 6. Observe before attributing changes to dementia. Notice when difficulties occur, what happened beforehand, and what improves the situation. Don't assume every change is sundowning. Sudden or marked changes in cognition or behavior need medical attention. These recommendations align with the Alzheimer's Association and National Institute on Aging guidance on sleep, lighting, routines, and sundowning. Remember, the clock changes overnight, but the person you're caring for may need more time to adjust. Before you assume that increased confusion or restlessness means their dementia is getting worse, look at what has changed around them.

A favor helps once. Shared responsibility reduces the ongoing load. You do not need more people occasionally helping you carry the load. You need some parts of the load to stop belonging to you. Your challenge this week, choose one recurring task you usually carry from start to finish and ask whether someone else can take responsibility for that piece of care. Sometimes the most helpful support is not another pair of hands for one afternoon. It is knowing one piece of the caregiving system no longer depends entirely on you.”