Why was I chosen to be love’s favorite drug and its strongest addiction? Misused and abused, I was left confused in solitude as the longest needle crippled my vein and guided me into submission The pain dealt pleasure that delivered me to delusion, deceiving me into believing that my contaminated bleeding was a natural affliction My real eye conflicted, unable to realize that what I received was driving me further into infliction and steering my brain further into the lane of the insane Cope had me holding on to hope that it wasn’t toxicity from my proximity filling my bloodstream with infections I was taught love meant to give and receive unconditionally, yet instead of reciprocity my efforts were consistently met with lessons Lesions forming around the many holes left from bullets, ecstasy layin’ next to me Knife ingrained so deeply that you couldn’t even begin to pull it, pain tolerance testin’ me Shit, I must be a masochist Cause the rush from being attached to this had me begging for half assed acceptance and weightless validation like lavish gifts And to add to this, it made me fall in love with Mary Jane who is the secretary In a permanent state of February, love bombing was all around so I figured I would never worry Until I was reminded by Aquarius waters that I was surrounded, silently drowning Finding myself losing faith that I will ever be found How did I even allow it to make me grovel on the ground? Doubt corrupted my intuition and fear interrupted my heart’s conviction, so even if they did listen my voice made no sound Hoarse from falling into patterns of victimhood from this system to which I was bound No choice but to disperse into pieces of hurt, nursing surgical wounds when anesthesia had me high out my mind Then the universe sent a different vision, arriving in divine timing with a sparkle in his eyes and a smile that shines I always fantasized about rehab, revitalized yet too damaged to see what was happening in front of me instead of behind Blinded and elusive to true love I deserved, I surrendered to confusion versus being lucid

When it’s pourin’ rain I lay dormant in the storm, waitin’ on the tenth sign like a Capricorn Bracin’ for when it transforms into a category four, but not even that can stop this black sheep from transforming into a goat and aiming for shore Embracing defeat was never the option, so battle tested my thoughts drop like bombs when I brainstorm With the intellect I collected and the shit that I accepted, I expected to develop a steel will shaped by harshness Yet I still feel the touch of Midas’ covering my soul in gold, leaving me bereft of the ability to be heartless Easy to believe kindness is priceless, but I’m too impartial to be guard-less I’m not always the nicest, but that’s what happens when your heart is consistently attacked at its largest Misunderstood in my jargon, it’s truly hardest being the smartest Expectations always close, but recognition the farthest Though it was God’s grace that granted me these gifts, so I remain grateful regardless Manifesting life lessons while earning my knowledge and learning through my blessings Unearthing the roots of curses and reversing the work of generations, rewarded repetition Obsessed with veneration, so my steps towards success are ordered in succession I march on to my purpose with a chip on my shoulder Healing but still feeling January cold in my capillaries as the winter foot soldier No amount of snow from blizzards or smoke from explosions will ever be enough to cloud my decisions Sharp shooting for the stars is a part of my mission Endless wishes for notoriety and riches, I instantly dismiss limits as timid as the sky Dreams piloted by the most high, I may get redirected but never be denied Stacked odds carved as giant appetizers to my defiance A starving artist, reality is my canvas, and the brush is my fiction Painting my vision over many pictures until my breakthrough is nigh

Exclusion was the straitjacket sewn into the seams of my genes, feedin’ me the scheme of inclusion through tubes of illusion Learning through the lens of the lines I descend, I ascend into a higher sense of identity Taught to be self-sufficient, I renounced the poisonous food and nurtured my soul with a different entity The sensitivity within my spirit craved mystery, which sparked an insatiable thirst for knowledge Palatable was my first true discovery of self, through which I gained power, experience and wisdom as my wealth Stealthily navigating through the mirage of being included, I embraced the beauty of being excluded Creativity and individuality were waiting on me Showed me that I was destined for greatness and not belonging was my place blatantly Erasing the writings on the wall, I paint with my blood the story of creating the best from the worst I stand tall knowing that I was chosen for the path of breaking my generational curse I was born to stand out, never to fit in Which is exactly why I will not allow anything to sabotage my dream or inhibit my vision