Looking for a little help
So I'm blocked. Newly coming out and I've been learning on my own. I've had 3 readings and oh man that first one was so insanely amazing!! The others have been great as well and dead on but that first one omg it was everything! I've been trying to listen and trust myself and the signs but it's been almost a year since that first reading. My main issue right now is that I've never been able to close my eyes and visually see something. It's totally black and I don't ever remember being able to as a kid. I had a rough childhood which I can't remember much from so that doesn't help either. I've been working on inner child stuff as suggested in one of the readings and ego of course but I'm getting really frustrated because everything is like visualize this and that which I literally can't do. I tend to get angry with a lot of guided meditations because I can't visualize anything. I want to open up, I want my gifts and I want to do the work. I'm lost. Any tips, tricks, books, videos, meditations I can do to help open my minds eye? Any advice is welcome or even if someone specializes in this type of work that I can connect with and work with/book something with would really help.