I've noticed that instead of directly saying No, I'd revolve around it by being super diplomatic and making it palatable for the other person by providing lengthy explanations and details, they didn't care about. Now, I've decided to say no first and then see if I need to justify it, based on who is infront of me. How've you guys gotten comfortable saying no without feeling guilty or risking abandonment?

Alright team, I'm bringing this back to see if it holds up. Comment below by calling your shot for this week: What healthy, value-based action do you commit to doing this week to improve your life?

So I've been noticing something for a while now, irrespective of how I carry myself, I end up in arguments with security guards, shopkeepers, admin staff etc. And these are mostly arguments over little things like you can't park your car here and I just question them back with 'why is that?' and then it just escalates into a heated one. I feel like sometimes such staff in authority are being unreasonable and hence I give them a pushback. It's not that I just never listen to anyone but if someone makes up a rule on the go, I have a problem with that and that just drags the whole interaction. Also, even if I comply, I feel like I lost my frame or allowed him to violate my boundary and rights. And, I just go into a weird thought loop which consumes a lot of my energy to 'get him'. And I just keep questioning myself, 'oh why did I allow that?, why did I comply?' Whereas for some it's a very short conversation like: Guard: You cant stand here, park here, take pics or whatever Their reply: Okay no problem - I'm just trying to understand how you assess if you are an easy target where people pick on you easily? I've noticed that some people would do the same thing and they just get away with it. - Also, the thought loops are very tolling, how do you just make sure that you do not allow someone else to consume so much of your head space?

I've been struggling to distinguish between typical complaining where you are just reliving a negative experience a million times and staying stuck in a particular identity, and a genuine problem that's bothering you that you are trying to find a solution to or soliciting someone's support for?