I had a conscious breakthrough 2 weeks ago and decided I should share! I must admit that at first I didn't want to write about this. Mainly, I don't want to put ideas into people's heads. It doesn't help. Anyway here's what I got from contemplating "what is life?". I wrote this shortly after getting it: ------------------------------------------------------- Actually, there’s no “life”. There’s just This. It took a couple seconds, then I realized it’s true. A few moments after I got it, a question about what appears as life to me came up. And I got this: Life as a principle is a relative matter. In fact all principles are relative. ------------------------------------------------------ I noticed that I had been holding that life is in some way absolutely true, and... nope. Note that I did not become conscious of life as a principle. As I said, that's a relative matter, and I could certainly contemplate more. What I got isn't a relative matter. It cannot be comprehended, how could it? It doesn't matter what you think you're going to become conscious of. Just get conscious. The way I like to think of how this one unfolded is that I was contemplating life and had a conscious breakthrough on the nature of existence. Looking back, all of them are like this. Of course, now I am wondering, what is This?

I'm doing the Mastering Mind eCourse. This week's lesson is on noticing whenever I am adding something that makes me suffer more. Just wanted to share my observations. A general problem with the suffering work is "jumping the line". In other words, trying to jump past the getting conscious part and going straight to what I want to do, as if I already know. The thing is, I don't already know. The getting conscious part is the work, there's something I'm not yet conscious of. Becoming more conscious, even a little, is a breakthrough, and shouldn't be taken lightly or jumped past. As I did my homework this morning I kept noticing whenever I was adding something, a thought, a reaction, etc, that I could call suffering. I noticed that my reaction to noticing was to add to it, a judgment about myself being bad for doing it. After a while, it became clearer to me. My mind is always busy. Some of the stuff going on is just fine, there's no suffering there. But then there's this additional "layer" of mind that judges everything. This is the layer where most of my suffering occurs. As I was working this, I kept noticing the tendency to try to jump the line. But I realized this is just more of the same. The fact that I want to avoid judging is more suffering. This is hard to grasp. That's why I'm writing about it. Especially for those of us that think we're clever! Just noticing whenever I'm adding something I call suffering is enough to make a difference in my experience. Eventually a shift occurs and the activity loses power. But (at least today) I had to experience this activity quite deeply, and for an extended period of time, for the shift to occur.

Last week I had a dyad session with Chapin and he mentioned that he has an uncle that had a giant breakthrough years ago, related to wondering why he suffered. After that, and apparently much work, Chapin tells me he basically doesn't suffer. (Here I'm talking about the kind of suffering we're working on in the group on Sundays, and what Peter is talking about in the book. You know, the kind that is created only in your mind. I'll just call it suffering.) I wondered what it must be like for Chapin's uncle. Then I wondered what it might be like for me if I didn't suffer anymore. After a bit of contemplation, I suddenly realized it is actually possible! (To not suffer anymore.) I then asked, why not give it a try for real? So I did. And it led to a dramatic and easily noticeable decrease in my suffering! Weird isn't it? All I had to do is realize it's possible and this alone made a dramatic difference in my efforts. Of course it helps to also know where the place is. But I already knew that. It was the creation of a new possibility that made the difference for me.

I noticed in the ACW that I don't work on getting absolute Now very often. So I've been working on it. This morning I was doing my regular "whole body workout". Part of it is light tapping around the eyes, it's my own version of the EFT technique (a psychology "trick" used for freedom from emotional baggage). There's this part where I tap on my eyebrows and repeat "I'm here for you. I'm always right here. Right now. Forever and ever and ever...". I was doing that when I realized forever and ever is just an idea. And then I suddenly and easily got Now. I noticed I had stopped worrying about time. Everything is Now. That was the experience. Very pleasant! The thing I want to say about this one is it should be easy, once you get past the ideas about time. Indeed like they say just start by noticing it's always now. For me that makes it more accessible. Maybe for y'all as well.

Imagine you have a fish bowl and some very special marbles that shrink in size when pressure is applied. Now imagine stuffing these marbles into the fish bowl. The bowl starts to fill up. The marbles start to shrink because of the pressure. Keep stuffing more marbles. Notice they keep shrinking smaller and smaller and still fit into the fish bowl. Now stuff an infinite number of these marbles into the bowl. What happens? Notice that even though it's "impossible" to do that, you can still use your imagination. Use it. What do you imagine? Now get past your imagination. What is the true nature of infinity?