🧙 Barry Profit-ter and His First Day at Hogwash Affiliate Academy
I looked at how to profit from something that's a bit of a craze right now, and while delving in to it I realised one marketer had tried something similar. So I thought, "what can I do that's fun and a bit different?" I'm now posting the Harry Potter spoof series to my ezine in the hope of making subscribers laugh while they get some good tips: Dear Reader, Barry Profit-ter had always suspected he was different. While other kids collected football stickers or played video games, Barry spent his evenings clicking through suspicious banner ads that promised: “Make £10,000 before tea time! No skills required!” Most people called it nonsense. Barry called it destiny. And then, one morning, an owl (possibly moonlighting for Royal Mail) crashed into his living room and dropped a thick parchment envelope at his feet. ✉️ The Letter from Hogwash *“Dear Mr Profit-ter,We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted into the Hogwash Academy of Affiliate Wizardry.Please bring: - A working laptop (or at least one that turns on occasionally). - An overdrawn PayPal account. - A willingness to believe outrageous income claims. Yours sincerely,Professor Bumbleblog (Headmaster).”* Barry’s eyes widened. This was it. His escape from the soul-crushing drudgery of his day job, where even the photocopier earned more respect than he did. 🏰 Arrival at the Academy When Barry first laid eyes on Hogwash Academy, he thought it looked a little… underwhelming. The grand towers were held up by expired domain names, and the great stone gates had a pop-up ad for “One Weird Trick to Triple Your Traffic.” Inside, banners flapped from the ceiling, dividing students into their houses: - Clickendore – brave but gullible, forever chasing the next “secret system.” - List-er-in – diligent email marketers who whispered, “the money is on the list.” - Shinyclaw – obsessed with funnels, hacks, and the latest guru launches. - Refundlepuff – friendly, optimistic, but always broke after refund season.