My latest in the vertical drama series Red Planet Sirens is Episode 5: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/qZVlmWUlU9o and I really complicated my own life when I created a show within a show as it makes scripting very complex, especially when I am aiming for exactly 90 seconds and a cliffhanger at the end of very episode. Not sure how well I am doing but I'm having a lot of fun. Your thoughts? If you like the show, please like the episode and subscribe. Thank you!!! 🥰

Funny how brave we get when nobody else is in the room. Then reality knocks. Clocked.

You came in quiet. You took your shot. You thought my body belonged to you. Wrong. Fucking. Move. This one is personal. I made it through. I’m still here. And I turned the fight into a Frank & Sally film. For everyone who has fought cancer, is fighting it now, or stood beside someone they love through it: FUCK CANCER. 🖕❤️

(A MATTHEW ENGLISH FIELD GUIDE TO MODERN BANKING, BIOMETRICS, AI TOOLS, CRYPTID INTERFERENCE, AND THE WELLS FARGO ONLINE ACCESS AGREEMENT) ------------------------------------------------- 🟧 SECTION 0: WHO WE ARE (THE PATTERN RECOGNIZERS) WE are the chaos analysts. WE are the cryptid spotters. WE are the jet ski liability auditors. WE are the ones who see Chad the Reptilian and say: 👉 “YEP. THAT’S A PATTERN.” WE ARE SWEARABULARY! And MATTHEW (me) is the self-appointed field correspondent trapped inside the Digital Overlord Ritual. ------------------------------------------------- 🟪 INTRODUCTION: WELCOME TO THE CRYPTID INDUSTRIAL BANKING COMPLEX In 2026, banking security has evolved from “please sign here” to: 👉 PROVE YOUR EXISTENCE TO THE ROBOT 👉 PROVE YOUR EXISTENCE TO THE AI 👉 PROVE YOUR EXISTENCE TO THE BIOMETRIC SCANNER 👉 PROVE YOUR EXISTENCE TO THE CRYPTID COUNCIL Wells Fargo updated its Online Access Agreement again, and OF COURSE they frame it like a gift: 👉 “WE ENHANCED YOUR SECURITY!” TRANSLATION: 👉 “WE ADDED MORE HOOPS. YOU WILL JUMP THROUGH THEM. WE WILL CALL THIS SECURITY. ALSO, CHAD (REPTILIAN) IS NOW YOU.” This document blends: 🔥 PROFESSIONAL FORMATTING 🔥 COSMIC COMEDY 🔥 CRYPTID LORE 🔥 BANKING TRAUMA 🔥 DIGITAL SECURITY SATIRE 🔥 MATTHEW ENGLISH TRANSLATION OF LEGAL NONSENSE ------------------------------------------------- 🟧 SECTION 1: THE BANKING TRAUMA LORE Before biometrics and AI tools, banks already “helped” customers by: 🦴 REORDERING CHECKS TO MAXIMIZE FEES 🦴 REPORTING PEOPLE TO CHEXSYSTEMS 🦴 WEAPONIZING THE PATRIOT ACT 🦴 TREATING BOUNCED CHECKS LIKE FEDERAL CRIMES 🦴 INVENTING THE “LARGEST CHECK FIRST” SCAM Wells Fargo: “WE PRIORITIZE YOUR LARGEST OBLIGATIONS FIRST.” MATTHEW ENGLISH: “NO HUMAN HAS EVER ASKED FOR THIS. YOU JUST WANTED SIX OVERDRAFT FEES INSTEAD OF ONE.” CRYPTID ENGLISH: “THE HOLLOW EARTH COUNCIL APPROVES THIS REVENUE MAXIMIZING RITUAL.” ------------------------------------------------- 🟫 SECTION 2: THE RISE OF THE DIGITAL OVERLORDS