Hi you compassionate caregivers. I dont usually add things to your plate but this is a concise, well researched video by a dementia caregiver researcher who outlines the 5 steps necessary to save you and your loved one from financial ruin following the diagnosis. Please take the time to watch or listen, I promise its worth it. https://youtu.be/admML9-NkGM?is=0yvY3Q7OTFB8HqwM

Let's recap the topic of shadowing: Monday: we talked about understanding what shadowing may mean Wednesday: as the curious observer, we observed what your presence provides to your loved one Today we are going to build one bridge that supports their feeling of security Because: The goal is not to make them stop following, it's to test one way of helping them feel secure without requiring your constant physical proximity. This is by no means an exhaustive list of potential changes but try 1 and see how your loved one reacts today. - set up a familiar activity nearby - narrate where you’re going: “I’m going to the kitchen. I’ll be right back.” - leave a simple visual cue - use music, folding towels, sorting objects, or another familiar task - create predictable check-ins - sit them where they can still see or hear you - bring them into the task when appropriate Your Challenge for this week: Choose one time you normally get followed and create one small bridge that helps the person stay connected without needing to be right beside you. Remember: The goal is not distance. The goal is security.

This goes deeper than just labelling it shadowing, when your loved one is following you from room to room, task to task. Notice: - Does the person become anxious immediately or after several minutes? - Are there certain rooms they tolerate being alone in better? - Does a familiar activity help? - Does verbal reassurance help if they can still hear you? - Is it worse at certain times of day? - Does the person seem to need proximity, information, or engagement? And more importantly consider what your presence appears to provide to them. - orientation - reassurance - purpose - companionship - help knowing what comes next As the Curious Observer, observe what your presence is doing for them, not just what their following is doing to you.

Have you noticed that your loved one closely follows you from room to room like a shadow? Why is that? Well, in today's episode we are going to put a little light onto the shadow. When memory, orientation, and predictability decline, the caregiver can become the person’s main “anchor.” Common examples of what may compel your loved one to follow you: - they lose track of where you went - being alone feels unsafe - they cannot predict when you’ll return - they rely on you to know what happens next - separation itself may trigger anxiety Generally, they are not following you because they need something from you. They are following you because you help the world make sense. I'd love to hear from you, when does the following seem to increase most?

This week we addressed Repetitive Questions, statements, stories: Monday- understanding why repetition happens; Weds- observing the pattern and underlying theme and today: Changing one response or cue. Examples for your response or cues can include: - reassurance phrase - visual schedule - written note/card - clock/calendar cue - snack or movement break - familiar object - transition routine - consistent short answer Instead of re-explaining the whole day every five minutes: Try “We’re staying home today. You’re safe. I’ll let you know when it’s time for lunch.” Your Challenge today is to Choose one repeated question and create one consistent response or cue that addresses the underlying need. We'd love to hear what worked for you...