I started watching Joyce Meyers on video in the morning as my attention span is… well- let’s just say video is easier for me. This morning she talked about being bold in faith and caring for yourself. So good! I realized a part of me sharing my faith used to be through music. I loved playing guitar and singing and I lost that somewhere the last two years as I got “too busy”. So, I pulled out my guitars, decided to buy a new Taylor, and play music again. Love sharing my faith especially through song. It’s time to “be bold” and share that in a new space. ❤️

It’s been a rough week. I had a cancer scare as they found a mass in my leg last week. Tuesday I was in Fargo for a biopsy. In the middle of moving, running a business and everything else in life that never slows down. Thankfully, everything turned out fine and I just have to check back in 6 months. In the meantime- I shut down this week… everything was hard. I prayed and prayed and functioned. And cried. Even in the weakest times God still delivers. My friend happened to invite me to join a group last night and it was what I needed. That reminder that I’m not alone, kindness from strangers, and uplifting strength of the Holy Spirit. Reminds me of the song, “Come Rest On Us”- one of my favorites ❤️.

I love this verse, and I also struggle with it sometimes. Does anyone else read this and the human part of you starts reacting and you almost feel guilty as God gave up his son for you??? It’s so hard to fathom…and I know that is Satan trying to make me question or sneak in those “I’m not good enough” thoughts. In reality, those are the battles we face daily. And, it’s Gods great promise that we are chosen, selected as his precious child, saved for eternity to be with Him. There is no room for guilt in that space, only love. I’m going to say that on repeat today. 😊

I feel like I can fully embrace today’s message as I’ve been that prodigal son. I’ve had experiences in life that felt like they destroyed me. I’ve lost my way. I’ve been hurt. Shamed, acted recklessly. And I am so thankful for the grace of God that I have been welcome back with open arms. If that brother would have been the person to who I ran into when I tried to come back, I would’ve probably would have remain full of shame and guilt, and never returned. Fortunately, I’ve had family, loved ones at church and others who welcome me back, reminded me that I am God‘s child, and I am forgiven of my sins. Through the difficult times and the lost, God has used those experiences in me to reach others. When you’ve been through the depths of what feels like hell, you have the ability to engage with others in a way that is truly authentic. You see things, you know what those feels are, and you can relate in a totally unique way. And you still carry the heaviness of your decisions throughout your entire life. If I didn’t go through the most difficult things I have I would not be able to be the person I am, or lead the business that I do today. God has used these experiences in my life to serve others the same as he did in the story of the prodigal son. As you read further, he used that son to be able to spread God‘s word and bring others to the word. So as I think about it, I can understand the brother being jealous and having a hard time understanding as that seems like a very normal human emotion. Also, he doesn’t understand the weight that that Brother was caring for all of the wrongness and the responsibility that he likely feels to be able to use those experiences to serve God and others. It reminds me of an analogy. I heard once where you take a box and you put multiple objects inside of the box. They’re all glued to a different side and then you poke holes all over the box on each side. Every person is required to look inside the box through different angle. As they look inside, every person sees something different, even though the box has the exact same things in it. So we as people see things differently through our own lens. I tried to think about if I’m looking through my own lens, or if I’ve taken the time to think about what other people‘s lens might be that might allow them to see things differently, even though we have the same understanding. Today I can stop and think about my lens and other peoples lens, and can welcome people with open arms.

As I was reading I could relate to the woman sweeping the floor looking for her coin. (Typically I’m cleaning up dog hair and surprised when I find things 😂). But when I do I’m grateful! What I hear in this verse is God being grateful when we come to Him in humility. Arrogance, or justified righteousness, can be a trap to fall into… instead of acknowledging our weaknesses, or sins, and repenting we hang onto our “why”. One thing I really have tried to focus on is noting that I am not perfect, repenting when I screw up, and loving others as they navigate this space too. All of us need grace. I know I certainly do. And when i repent and receive grace I know it makes me feel relieved. God doesn’t want us to carry shame and guilt as it serves no one, and so He rejoices in our repentance and obedience. I think a big part of demonstrating this is being patient with others and forgiving. Not holding onto resentment or anger, and choosing love over everything else. You can still hold boundaries, see poor behaviors in people for what they are, and recognize their value just as Jesus does. Today I chose love and kindness - as my mother and I had a fundamental disagreement on Faith and politics. I am praying that she can separate politics from religion, separate human behavior from Gods truth and desire, and see that people are all broken and we all need healing and forgiveness. I will keep trying to bring her closer to God, just like the woman sweeping for the coin. I can love her, pray for her, and keep inviting her to join me in faith and speak truth. That’s how I can mirror Jesus heart today.