@Robert Moore you're not alone. That is real wisdom to recognize the need for God in this life here on earth. We all need Him. I'm learning to be thankful and watch what He will do and get out of His way and not put Him on my timetable. He is sovereign and loves each one of us more than we can imagine.

As the two oldest have moved out, it seems from my perspective that things work best when I have let them lead, meaning I try to be available when they call or want to come over. They are guys. I would love more time with them if they asked. I have often wondered if they think I should initiate more, but their 19 year old brother still lives at home as well as my 91 year old mom. It seems that they call when they need something like a haircut from mom. Sometimes they will acknowledge my birthday with a text and sometimes not. Same with Mother's Day. The oldest one (32) has gotten better about being intentional, but it still can be hit or miss. I did try to call the 28 year old yesterday (Friday at 6) to see if I could come for a visit this weekend and maybe help him get some clothes for an upcoming trip. He didn't answer so I texted him early this morning. He lives 3 hours away and is most likely sleeping late. My 19 year old was invited by the older one (32) to go out of state to celebrate the fiance's birthday. He left and doesn't say goodbye to the people at home. He's not mad. I've told him multiple times when you live with others, it's just the thoughtful thing to do to say, "Goodbye." I don't understand why that's a thing for him.

Our oldest is able to apologize when he has been hurtful. He really desires to be a friend to those who are hurting. He's learning that this transaction doesn't always help the other person and sometimes he gets taken advantage of. He's been learning patience for a very long time and hopefully how to control his temper. Our middle one is responsible and living independently. He is kind and patient. Our youngest has always been drawn to dirty jobs and hard work that others sometimes don't enjoy. He's not afraid to get his hands dirty.

Growing up I always wanted to have a close connected family who loved being together. My 3 children are very different and are born 4 years apart and then 8 years apart. My husband and I are only children so we probably enjoy alone time more than I realized. I would love to see my children thriving in life and their relationships with us and with others. I had my picture of what I thought that would look like, but I realize my gift to them is to allow them to make those choices. None are married. One is living with their fiance of 3.5 years now. Both of them have health challenges that are not always being addressed. I'd love to help but they don't want help. One is 3 hours away living alone and doesn't communicate as often as I'd like, but he never has. He says he has no desire to marry or have children. The youngest is still at home going to school trying to figure it all out. I love long meaningful conversations, but I have to try to keep it short to not frustrate them.