@Tiffany Colar Amen sister. God knows your heart.

@Mayokun Senu-Oke praying that the God of all hope provides all that you need today and every day

Hi. I’m Karen, I’m 55, and I’ve been married 35yrs. My husband told me on January 27th of this year that he no longer wanted to be married to me. My emotions ran the gamut for a few days. I took a trip to the beach and on the way home I began panicking. Realizing this was not going to change (as it had in the past) I cried myself to sleep, again and began the new work week. But God was changing something and when I woke up Tuesday morning I believe I had a clear message than mourning was over and the fight was to begin. Almost immediately after that I found The Virtous Woman on social media. And here I am… still praying over him, working through the 21 day love dare challenge and realizing that my marriage had more than a few problems. Now, I know that marriage is dead, covered like dead things, but in the blood of the lamb. I am uncovering deep rooted hurt, bitterness, and anger while also realizing that I hadn’t ever fully trusted him. I had always believed that I took him instead of God giving us to one another (dysfunctional, I know) but it’s because we were unequally yolk in the beginning. He was saved about 4yrs into our marriage but our spiritual lives have always been surface and lacking at that. Nevertheless, I know now that I must fully surrender to the Holy Spirit and Jesus MUST be the cornerstone of my life, as well as his, before he can be the cornerstone of our marriage which is a covenant before God. We are still living separate and he reports that he is concerned that I will continue trying to control him. I know that if he came back today we would likely fall back into previous habits. There is soooo soooo much history. Damage from lies, infidelity, unfaithfulness in esteeming one another over others, including family, substance abuse (past), alcohol (current) over spending, adult children living in the home along with grandchildren (2 of which we have custody), and the list goes on. I’m sure this was too much but there is so much more. One final thing. A little over three years ago there was infidelity that nearly destroyed us, but we worked through it, but nit completely. I forgave him, but we grew comfortable and didn’t finish counseling. My mom passed away in May of 25 and I think I stuffed it. So along with all the others things I had become so angry all the time. He became angry. Neither of us were happy but I thought things would change when the kids moved out. But he moved first. There have been many changes since he left. We have spoken some but it’s limited. He is guarded. He reports that he believes I am becoming the woman he married but he has to feel safe before we can get back together. And I got a little to needy this past weekend to which he responded by pulling away. We parted on good terms but no more conversation this week. The enemy had a foothold and there are many strongholds in our lives. God had been so faithful me thru all of this. I believe he is not done with us. I’m looking forward to the monumental testimony that will arise from these ashes.