She's Not Going Cold...She's Responding to You! At some point in your marriage, something shifted. She stopped reaching for you and the conversations got shorter, the intimacy dried up, and you've been trying to figure out what the hell you did wrong. Here's the truth most men don't want to hear. She didn't pull away from you, she pulled away from the man you stopped being. Women don't suddenly go cold randomly, they respond to what they feel, and what she's been feeling is a man who's been managing the situation instead of leading it. Keeping the peace instead of holding your ground makes you slowly disappear while still showing up physically. She can't always put her finger on it, but she feels it, and her pulling away is her response to it. Sit with that for a second. 3 Ways to Turn It Around: 1. Stop chasing her approval and start holding your own - Every time you shrink to manage her mood, you confirm what she's already sensing and that destroys the certainty and the safety she needs from you. A man who stands in his conviction even when she's uncomfortable is a man she can feel again. 2. Lead something - That's right! Pick one area of your life or your home and lead it decisively. Without asking for permission. Leadership isn't loud, it's consistent, and she's watching for it. 3. Get back in your own life - What did you used to care about before the relationship became your entire identity? You have to get back to your purpose, your friendships, and your edge. A man with a life of his own is infinitely more magnetic than a man whose world revolves around his wife's happiness. She doesn't need more effort from you. She needs more you. Drop a comment below. Where do you recognize yourself in this? You've got this! Be Remarkable! -Coach Dwayne

This post is going to suck for some of you because the ego is not going to like it. Mine sure didn't. In fact, I still fight this notion at times. Being fully in control when life feels so out of control is so very paradoxical. Yet it is only from the higher realms of consciousness does any of this make sense. Oddly enough our human experience rarely has us in an elevated state long enough to dwell in this truth. So let's break it down in a way that makes sense and helps to give you your power back. In order to understand that you are in control of your life experiences comes from the "Mirror Principle". You are not the reflection, you are the source of the reflection. The mirror is just reflecting back what you are expressing in front of it. So let's look at control. You are in a car and you have total control of getting it and yourself from point A to point B. But what happens when you come to crest of a hill only to find out on your decent down, that the brakes have failed? Now you can double down on your driving skills and control your way to safety, or you can look at your experience of control from events that lead to the brakes failing. At first their was a spongy feel to the brake pedal a few weeks back. Then there was the brake fluid leaking on the concrete in your garage. Then there was that slow stop in the grocery store parking lot that had you almost hitting the woman and her child. Fast forward and here you are careening down the hill having a crises that you have always had complete control over every step of the way. It's happening exactly how it was meant to. Having issue with your relationship? You control that! Having financial challenges? You control that! Having health and wellness issues? Yes, you control that too! How's your ego doing? I can hear it now, "I get it Coach, but that's a stretch. You can't control what others do and how they impact your life." No, not directly, but if you go deep enough you'll see the connection to everything.