This question is captured from The Remarkable Man Newsletter on LinkedIn And Substack. The Question: "My son is in his early 20s now. We've been estranged for eight years. His mother had an affair, and instead of being accountable, through the courts, I was painted as dangerous and blocked from seeing him and his sister. She poisoned them against me while I fought to rebuild my life from nothing as she got everything in the divorce. Now that he's an adult, I've reached out to reconnect, but he won't respond. How do I heal this so he knows the truth, and I can be the father and role model he actually needs?" - Jackson P. Prince George BC. Coach's Answer: Brother, first, the fact that you're still reaching out after eight years of silence and a false narrative tells me everything I need to know about the father you actually are. Here's the reframe that matters most: your son's silence right now is not a verdict on the truth. It's a symptom of the story he was raised with after he last saw you. For eight years, his understanding of you was shaped almost entirely by one source (an angry, bitter and vindictive source) during the years he had the least ability to question it. That's not a character flaw in him, that's what happens to a child's mind when it only has one narrator. Trying to correct the story head-on, right now, will likely backfire. He hasn't asked for the truth yet, he's not ready to hold it, because holding it means re-examining his entire childhood and a parent he still depends on emotionally. Pushing the truth on him before he's asked for it can read as an attack on his mother, and he will protect the parent who raised him, even against his own curiosity. Instead: - Lead with consistency, not trying to rush to correcting it. Low-pressure, no-strings contact like a birthday message, a short note, slowly becomes an open door. When it is sustained over time, it does more than any single conversation of, "Here's what really happened." - Let him come to the questions. When he's ready, he will start wondering why the story doesn't fully add up. That's when the truth will land. It does not happen when it's delivered on your timeline, but when it's sought by his.

It's not your job to please everyone. If you continue to seek approval or need to be liked it tends to lower your sense of authenticity. If you've been known as a people pleaser, you have an attachment to other people's opinions. Imagine two tanks within you. One is the the love tank you fill for yourself, and another you fill by others. So many men, have such a hard time filling their own love tank from within that they put all their energy into getting it from others. When It doesn't come as anticipated, he takes a hit on a personal level. The root is a low self worth and self image. It can feel like a gut punch when you think you've done all the work and feel healed, only to get tested and see just how much it still impacts how one feels. I can speak to this on an expert level because I know this feeling on a very personal level. Sure, I have done a lot of work on myself, and have a pretty good ability to fill my own tank, and not be so attached to other people's opinion of me, but I am still not fully immune from taking a hit when others judge, criticize or misunderstand me. It's an on going learning curve. It takes the ability to get out of the ego and know that if I am coming from my truth and integrity, and I am doing the things that are congruent with my mission, then no matter how others perceive it is on them. They have a perception and comfort level of how you show up, so any change in your persona, any strength or a new energy shift within you, will take away the YOU they are comfortable with. At this point these people are your crabs in your bucket, people that continue to pull you down as you try to make your escape to a new reality. They need you to stay the same. Can you identify anyone in your life that shows up like this for you, when you try to change and/or take on a new, more empowered self? I have even heard that the more people don't like you or having "haters" means you are growing and making a bigger impact in the world. There's truth to this.

There's a moment when a "Pop!" occurs inside one's awareness. No not a blood vessel or shoulder dislocation, but the suddenness of it and the pain to get your attention is much the same. The "Bullshit Story" I am referring to needs no introduction. It is the one you know, and I don't even have to pin point it. You know it through and through. I've got one too! In fact, I've got a couple running in the background as an unconscious part of my central operating system. It is like a HVAC system, it's always on, but we don't have a minute by minute awareness of it. However, as time goes on. I am no longer comfortable as to where I set the meter. It now bugs me. It pisses me off! Scratch that! I'm fucking mad as hell as to what I have accepted as my comfort zone! The rub is, you get what you tolerate! Is this landing for you? Do get where I am coming from? Can you pin point the exact level you've set your own thermostat at? Here's why it should piss you off like it does me. It's your higher self, your big vision, goals, dreams and potential calling you forward. God is calling you to fulfil your purpose and BE the Remarkable Man (as you define him) that you know you are suppose to be. This has very little to do with how successful you are or aren't. It has everything to do with who you are BEING. Are you using your natural gifts and talents? Are you moving and fuelling your body like it was built for? Are you the example, mentor, or role model that others can learn from? Are you creating a legacy that you and your children would be proud of? There's a lot to unpack here, but if you are being triggered by the discomfort or enormity of your role or just how small you've chosen to play...Good! This post was meant to trigger you because your higher self needed you to read this. It is literally telling you, "See! This is what I have been trying to get you to understand! But you are so F'n stubborn, lazy and too busy playing the victim to hear me. So I am possessing Coach Dwayne right now so he'll write this post!"

I'm not talking about someone's perception of you and how much they wold pay you. I'm referring to how much you value your own time? I was recently listening to one of my favourite mentors, Ed Mylett, and was talking about how everything changed for him once he started to value his time. It was an interesting listen because I got a revelation that was surprising to me. You see, I thought I valued my time a lot. However, recent habits, distractions, and lack of discipline in using my systems told me a different story. I realized there are still deep holes in my productivity and and how I structure my day. Yes, I have a schedule and Yes I have put systems in place to keep me on track, but I have to tell you, my inner saboteur, can get me off my game quickly. Social media being the biggest distraction. It knows what gets me pissed off and "passionate" about world events. It's like it likes to poke the bear and test me to see how detached and focused I can be. Ai is another rabbit hole too! That's why I am writing this "analog style", meaning I'm writing old school with my own fingers typing directly what's on my mind. Brother, we all have the same ticks on the clock. Whether it is Elon Musk, Alex Hormozi or Ed Mylett. They all have the same 24 hours in a day. And as the Remarkable Man that you are, you've got to get more intentional with your day. And yes, the excuses have to go! Remember this is a letter to me as much as it is for you. So I want to challenge you to chunk down your days. Rise one hour earlier, get your work out in or your meditation time in. When are you most productive? Then double down during that time. I'm writing this at 2 PM. This is my second long form article of the day because this is my creative time and I am in the zone! I cannot stop creating until 3PM. Then I will switch gears and record a video. You know yourself better than anyone. What does your day have to look like for you to have a victory 3 times a day? Then set yourself up so that you prioritize those victories. After I post this article...That's a victory!

How did I not see this coming? That is the question so many men ask after hearing the words they never expected: "I don't love you anymore." "My feelings have changed." "I think I need space." "I want to leave." After 10, 20, or even 30 years together, many men find themselves blindsided. They thought everything was okay. They were working hard, providing, being loyal, and doing what they believed a good man was supposed to do. But somewhere along the way, something changed. The conversations became fewer. The connection faded. The relationship became comfortable. Two people who once couldn't wait to be together slowly became roommates living separate emotional lives. In this video, I reveal what many men don't understand until it is almost too late: • The warning signs most men miss before a marriage crisis • Why emotional distance is often more dangerous than conflict • What may have been happening while you thought everything was fine • Why good men can still lose connection in their relationships • What to do if your marriage is struggling, your wife wants to leave, or you are facing separation or divorce This is not about blaming men or blaming women. It is about understanding. Because before you can rebuild your relationship, you have to understand what happened. And whether your marriage can be restored or you are facing the painful reality of starting over, this moment can become the beginning of your transformation. I believe every man has the ability to rise from his greatest challenges and become the man he was always meant to be. That is the journey of becoming a Remarkable Man. If you are a man who feels lost, disconnected, or uncertain about the future of your relationship, I invite you to take the next step. Work With Me: https://dwayneklassen.com/book-your-30-minute-call What is one practice you use to help stay connected in your relationship? If you are separated or divorced, what practice do you wish you could have done or done better at?