So.. I've realized I need to tweak the order of my carefully constructed morning routine. Now I don't know if this is adhd or autism or even just cptsd but I was struggling to give myself permission to tweak The big reason is because I know the urge from my brain can be "this is boring. Let's change it up!" But in this case, it isn't that it is boring. It is actually triggering for me. I WAS getting "morning sun"- to the extent I could- it has been gray here some days. But I also wasn't getting outside until 9 am and that was AFTER doing a bunch of steps including cooking breakfast.. in an environment that feels like CONSTANT reminders of what isn't done or messes daughter left when she left for school etc etc. My point is, starting tomorrow, I'm tweaking the order of my routine. I'm going to shoot to be UP by 7 am (since her alarm goes off at 5:30 so I already am woken up early), and instead of completing a bunch of steps, I'm going to go downstairs, put on a hat, drink water, make a coffee and add two scoops protein powder, and be OUT of the house for a walk by 7:30 am. Now.. that might sound straightforward... but, before my body exploded 😅, I was taking morning walks but would literally go as far as I could, and then had to walk back of course (literally up hill 😅) and basically completely wear myself out. So... that's not the answer haha. But! What i can do is set timer for 5 minutes and walk 5 minutes "out". Then when timer goes off, walk back. So basically a 10 minute walk. This has absolutely been a downfall of my brain in the past is overdoing things without realizing it🤯. So I'm posting this so I DON'T do that. I'm telling myself if I feel like I need to cry on walk i can (because that is part of why I'm hesitating to take a walk), but I'm going to literally keep moving through it walking. PMDD here and I'm trying my best to both RESPECT it but also not punish myself by staying literally inside suffering if that makes sense. I'm sharing this because I know first hand the despair and hopeless feeling that comes up when things aren't working.

Hi, my name is Jo I’m from Yorkshire, UK and I did work as a children's social worker until retired ill health 15 years ago. I love photography but finding it a struggle at the moment. You can ask me questions about anything and I will do my best to answer. I want to get these things from ADHD Harmony: more understanding of the way I am and how I can best support myself and others. For fun, I like to: traval in my campervan, take photographs and basically be wanderlust and free. Fun fact about me, I love Timberland boots I have quite a few.

I read something about ear worms and ADHD. I have experienced, as I'm pretty sure I mentioned as I'm an open book too, musical ear syndrome which I've read is connected to ADHD in some cases. But, because I'm so loving and I want to share, "Someday we'll find it, the Rainbow Connections. The lovers, the dreamers and me. oooo oooooooo ooo". You're welcome. 😇😉

In my ADHD assessment snapshot I kept getting the word translating coming up, not actually understanding what it meant do I looked it up. And the realisation was overwhelming. Translating yourself to the world in the context of ADHD refers to the intense, often exhausting effort required to bridge the gap between how an ADHD brain processes information, emotions, and thoughts, and the neurotypical expectations of how those things should be expressed. I didn't realise I did this until I read it, now I can see it in everything I do. No wonder I have chronic fatigue. I also didn't realise how much grief I have held on too, My childhood, my lost career, my lost of health (temporarily lost my sight with ms) and could list many more but I'm not here to concentrate on the past I'm here to support my past to a different future. In one hour I feel my mind/brain is spinning and I'm exhausted. Goodnight all.

Day 1 Done! Biggest insight: That I'm not broken I'm me. My open loop is: collecting my favorite coat from the repair shop, it's been there 3 weeks. It's home today 😁 One word for how I feel right now: grateful.