The Cost of a "Zero Pain" Solution
My troubles began when I jumped from a helicopter to requalify my airborne status. After landing badly, I had damaged both my legs and had to spend years repairing the damage somewhat. Later because of my leg weakness, I injured myself during martial arts training. This additional leg damage resulted in surgery where I lost 30% of the meniscus in my right knee and woke up from the surgery with severe widespread and chronic pain. This was the beginning of more than 15 years of darkness. Because the pain was so intense I sought ways to medicate the pain away first it was opiate pain pills and sleeping pills then it was off label use of psychotropic medications, all in an effort to achieve a no pain state. In 2024 I quit it all. No pain pills, no psych meds, no sedentary sorry for myself BS I've spent 2 years reawakening to being myself again and 2 things stand out in stark relief to me so I'm sharing them here 1. There is no such thing as a zero pain solution. If you are alive, you will feel pain. Only in a state of being dead will there be zero pain. 2. When you numb out the hurt, you numb out the joy there is not one without the other 3. Move. Move your body and your mind. 4. Make it about something bigger than yourself You see, 2024 was my 30th wedding anniversary. My wife had always expressed a desire to go to Italy however we never had the money or, once we did, I was physically incapable. That was my initial why. Why was I going to deprive my beloved because I was unwilling to do the work and feel the pain to make it happen. Over the course of the first nine months I moved from the couch to walking 3 miles a day and made Italy happen, but it also lit in me the fire to want to live again. Now two years on from my beginning I've lost 120 pounds from 285. I'm down to 15% body fat from a high of 45. And it is only by walking. Just miles. 1500+ in the last 12 months. From .5 on my first walk Best of all, I see great emotional reawakening. I truly feel again