If you have made it to the 2nd module. you have learned why a pause is key to good decision-making. In a digital world, we have access to information and communication in a nano second. The problem is we fall into the trap of reacting instead of listening and being curious. A couple of times this week I heard parents comment about how a child would make a passing remark about the past. It might sound like " I don't know why you didn't protect me from (fill in the blank)" or "You always favored ( a sibling)." If our adult children are still making comments about what happened when they lived at home, then we have to practice the pause. Moments like this reveal the unfinished business in our relationship and are worthy of further exploration. One of the reasons I encourage people to step back and slow down is most of the time adult children tell us the problems in our relationship but do not recognize them for the meaning they have. When issues are underground for years, they will build until they implode. Avoidance, less frequent visits, and superficial conversations are just a few signs the underlying hints not being heard or understood by us. Take some time to pause and reflect about past conversations and interactions with your kids. As you recall them, write down comments they repeat or themes they bring up from the past. It will help you when you are working through the modules, especially the one that discusses curiosity and asking questions.