My dad died when I was 15. Today is his birthday.
***A note before you read: this post talks about losing a parent to drug overdose, addiction, and some of the harder parts of growing up through that. If any of this hits close to home, take care of yourself first.*** This is personal, not ai related but feel its important to share. Both @Matthew Creamer and I lost our fathers to drug overdoses. I don't say that for sympathy. I say it because it's the kind of thing that rewires your entire life and I think some of you need to hear that the people building this thing with you know what it feels like to start from somewhere broken. My dad was a good man. I need you to know that before anything else. He was loving, he was present, he was the kind of father who wanted his son to never have to grind through the kind of work he did. He spent his life in construction, the kind that wears your body down year after year, and he always told me he wanted something different for me. He wanted to retire the whole family one day. He wanted to leave a mark on the world and he wanted me to do the same. He just had his demons, and one night when I was 15 they took him from me. A month after my birthday so I was still basically 14 years old and I found him on the couch and that was it. Everything after that moment I had to figure out on my own. I learned how to trim my beard without him standing behind me in the mirror. I learned how to haggle with taxi drivers in countries he never got to see. I broke my heart for the first time and had nobody to call who could tell me what that kind of pain actually means when you're young and don't know who you are yet. I fell into addiction myself somehow escaped after a lot of battles. I joined the Marine Corps and that brought its own tragedies, its own weight. I climbed the tallest mountain in Europe. I walked across the grand sands of the Middle East. I have tasted war and peace, depression and anger, and so much more that I am still learning how to carry.