I regret to inform residents the word 's-a-u-s-a-g-e' has been misplaced, somewhere within the Castle. Residents will, naturally, be unable to speak or write the word until it has been recovered. For those asking, I was only able to depict the word above by using the 'hyphens' workaround. Can any residents please remind me of the other words that remain lost within the castle's numerous crevices? 🤔 P.S. Auntie Gooch's famous sossidge (aha, another workaround) sandwich will still be available in the cafe parlour tomorrow (saturday)... but residents will have to get creative when it comes to ordering same.

There is a stoat in the moat. It appears to float. Please report any other behaviour. Rhyming optional.

The bare backside of popular 80s children's newsreader John Craven has been spotted in several places in and around the castle. Yesterday at 3.23am, it was briefly seen poking out of the north-south-eastsouth turret window. Yesterday at 2.45pm, the bum manifested inside a resident's washing machine, lunging out when they opened the door. And today at 1.12pm, the cult figure's derriere was seen in a tree in the woods by a dog. If residents have spotted John Craven's bum, please record the sighting below.

Strawberry blancmange for all in the 9th Quadrant this evening. To claim your free blancmange, simply name your favourite imaginary uncle. 👇

Which part of the Castle are you currently most suspicious of? • the dungeon beneath • the fog • the hats • the soup • the geese • the walking mirrors • the administrative staff • something else 👇